My visit to LEADR in Sydney, Australia

Me and Fiona Hollier (CEO of LEADR)

This morning, I had the privilege of visiting LEADR which is one of Australia's leading Dispute Resolution Organisation in downtown Sydney. I had a meeting with Fiona Hollier who is the CEO of LEADR for about an hour. It was a very fruitful meeting. We exchanged ideas on Mediation training and assessment. All I can say from the meeting is that we have got a lot to learn from our friends here in Australia. I presented a copy of my book "Mediation Skills and Techniques" to LEADR and in return I was presented with some wonderful souvenirs. LEADR is a non-profit organisation and you can learn more about it by visiting their website www.leadr.com.au

Sydney - here we come!

Robert Yap and Mok Singh helping to us to remove the door

My father taking a break near the patio

Mok and Douglas checking their facebook

Gary "the kampung boy" Wilson and me

My "twin" brother and I

G’day from Sydney, Australia! I am currently typing this from our new home in Chatswood. My family and I are still adjusting and settling down here in Sydney. We have got a lot of things done over the past few days. The number one priority was to enroll our children, Ashley and Douglas in the local schools here and thankfully, that have been taken care of. We also have some banking matters to deal with and that too have been accomplished. We also got some basic furnishings for our house such as sofa beds, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, microwave, etc. Thankfully, my father, my brother Clarence, my good friend Mok Singh and my new friend, Gary Wilson came down from the Gold Coast to help us. Not forgetting also, our friend from Klang, Robert Yap who is currently residing in Cherrybrooke who came and helped us to fix up a few things. Jennifer’s sister, Dr Penny Lim who is a dermatologist here in Sydney came and picked us up from the airport. She and her family have been a wonderful help to us. My cousin, Molly (Arnyi) has been a tremendous help in assisting us to choose furnitures and getting us around. To all of you, we salute you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

A nice home cooked meal - Thank you, Mr & Mrs Arul

A wonderful spread of home cooked meal!

Mr. Arul with my parents

Mr and Mrs Arul with my dad

Catching up on old times

Mrs Arul with my mum

Mr. Arul shared with us a useful paper cutting

This afternoon, my father’s former classmate and family friend, Mr. G Arulanathan and his lovely wife invited us over to their place for lunch. They heard that my family and I would be leaving for Sydney soon and therefore, wanted to give us a home cooked farewell lunch in their home. My children, Ashley and Douglas did not attend as they have exams tomorrow. My parents, Jennifer and me attended the wonderful lunch.

We had a home cooked meal of fish head curry (Mrs. Arul’s specialty), basmati rice (brought all the way from Australia as their son, Balan lives there), indian “yong tau foo”, mutton varuval, dried indian fish flake, drumstick dried curry, green “kampung” chicken curry and “pappadam”. We also had “murruku” and “fried dried bittergourd” on the side. As for dessert, we had fresh mangoes and coffee. It was a very hearty and nice meal. Thank you to Mr & Mrs Arul for that lovely lunch!

Gave a luncheon talk to soon to be lawyers at RSC - 18th Oct 2012

Last Thursday (11th October 2012), I was invited by the Bar Council, Malaysia as a Guest Speaker to deliver a speech at a formal luncheon for soon to be lawyers (pupils in chambers) at the Ballroom, Royal Selangor Club. Puan Hendon Mohamed read a short bio data of me and introduced me as “a fellow Member of the Bar, a colleague and a good friend”. There were more than a hundred people who attended the lunch. Below is the speech given at the luncheon:-

SPEECH –Bar Council’s Ethics and Professional Conduct Luncheon, 11th October 2012

1.    Thank you and congratulations for completing the Ethics and Professional Conduct Course. You have endured and experienced two days of added wisdom, knowledge and to some extent, skills. Please give yourself a round of applause. You deserve it!

2.    Before long, you will be having another celebration – celebrating your long call to the Bar. Try to treasure every minute of it because you earned it! All the hard work you have put in and not forgetting the great support given by your family and loved ones.

3.    Once the celebration simmers down, then it will be time for you to apply what you have learned in law school should you choose to be a lawyer or in a law related field.

4.    A question that one will always ask when venturing into the professional working world for the first time is that “Am I thoroughly prepared?” “What happens if I screw it up?” “What happens if I make mistakes?”

    I am going to share with you six (6) principles that I live by when I became a lawyer. Are you ready for this?

5.    First principle, please accept yourself as being a human-being. There is no such thing as being perfect or being completely and thoroughly prepared. We can only do our very best and to pick up skills and knowledge as we go along.

6.    Second principle, don’t compare yourself with others. As they say, you do not know what the other person’s ultimate goal is. By all means, learn from them. Make them as your role models (if you wish) but don’t compare yourself with them BECAUSE you are much better in some of the areas than they are.

6.    Thirdly, allow yourself to FORGIVE yourself. Give yourself that permission. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, all of us do. God knows, I have made mistakes on a number of occasions in my legal career. But what is important is that I learnt from those mistakes so that I can improve myself. Once we realize our mistakes, we learn to avoid them or remedy them. Learn to find ways and alternatives to resolve an issue. Most of the time, there is more than one way to resolve an issue or to “skin a cat” as the saying goes.

7.    Fourthly, learn to communicate with both your colleagues and clients. Try to put yourselves in their shoes and see how they would feel when faced with a certain situation or challenge. By understanding your colleagues and clients, you know you are in good footing.

8.    Fifth, when faced with challenges, accept it. Because challenges can be overcome. Sometimes, the road in front of us may not be as straight or as smooth as we want but how comfortable we want to make that journey depends on us NOT on the road. We can travel either in a bigger car or in a bus or we can always take an alternative route BUT the destination remains the same.

9.    Sixth, learn to adapt.

    Many years ago, after completing my SPM, as a matter a fact, two days after, I was literally packed and left for the US to start College. I wanted to start early and graduate early. As a matter a fact, I did graduate from one of the finest Universities in the US at the age of 21. Back in 1989, that was quite unheard of. But before I could gain entry into that university, I had to enroll myself in a Community College to prepare for my eventual entry into the University.

10.    Coming to a big city like Los Angeles, more specifically in East LA in the 1980s was a big adventure. Going to a Community College comprising of 95% of Hispanic students was one heck of an experience. I was culturally shocked but I adapted myself, learning some Spanish words, got myself well liked and enjoyed my semester there.

11.    Like in everything else in life, learn to adapt to your professional working environment, be flexible and learn to contribute to the well being of the firm and also to the Bar Council.

12.    Remember, the Bar Council is a legal statutory body which governs and looks after the welfare of pupils and lawyers. When you become a lawyer, find time to contribute to the Bar either by joining one of the Committees or volunteering your services from time to time. Not only will you meet new people and expand your network of friends and legal colleagues but it is also for self satisfaction.

13.    The journey that we are traveling and experiencing call “Life” is wide and long. We do not know where it will take us or where it will end. There may be a few bumps here and there or it may be a smooth one for majority of the time. But what we know is that we are the ones who determine how comfortable or how successful that journey will be. As lawyers, we have a duty to our clients, to the Court and to the Bar. We must ensure that our clients have confidence in us; the Court has respect for us and the Bar has trust in us to keep it independent and just. With that, I wish you all the very best in your legal career or whatever career that you choose. Thank you and best wishes.

Gave a talk at the "Employment Law & HR Management Master Class", 9th Oct 2012

Me and Bernard Ong

Me and Stephanie (the usher)

One of the funny powerpoint slides

Last Tuesday, I gave a talk at a seminar called “Employment Law & HR Management Master Class”. It was held at Hotel Istana, Kuala Lumpur. I spoke on “The HR Function: Understanding Legal Obligations and Boundaries”, a topic which was picked by the organisers, Crown Leadership which is based in Singapore.

In return for giving the talk, Crown Leadership gave me a complimentary pass entitled me to invite a guest to attend the full two days seminar. I invited my old friend, Bernard Ong to attend. He told me he found the seminar useful and he learned a few new things plus he made a few friends as well. The size of the seminar was rather small - about 15 to 18 people. However, we have got a very active group, asking a lot of questions. In this particular seminar, I did not give any handouts. I gave a powerpoint presentation that contained only pictures - nothing else. I started the talk by telling a story which was related to employment issues. As I went along, I showed the slides. Some of the slides were pretty amusing which got the whole class laughing. I guess when you are giving a talk at 9.00am, it would be wise to tickle their funny bone, otherwise the class would be rather slow and quiet. All in all, it was fun.

Mediation Skills Training Course at the Bar Council - 3rd Oct until 7th Oct 2012

Mediation Skills Training Course October 2012

Mediation - role play in session

Mediator "mirroring" one of the parties

"Mirroring" in action

The wonderful participants

Mediator setting the Agenda

Me and Faizal

Last week was a very busy week for me. I was asked by the Malaysian Mediation Centre (MMC) to be the Course Leader and the Lead Trainer for a 5 days Mediation Skills Training Course at the Bar Council, Malaysia. The course ran from 3rd October until 7th October 2012. The thing I like about the MMC is that they give you a free hand to run the course as you deem fit. I decided to rope my colleagues and friends to help me out in the Mediation Skills Training Course. All of them are Certified Mediation Trainers and like me, we are all doing it pro bono. We are not paid a single cent. All the monies collected from the Training Course go to MMC for the upkeep and the maintaining of the Centre.

The people who came and helped were Wong Lu Peen (she was there the whole of first day as she already had plans to travel to overseas the following day), Marcus Hwang, Tejinderpal, Puan Hendon (Tejinderpal and Puan Hendon have been helping me since Day 1 of the Course), Serene, Chan Kheng Hoe, Nacha, Sumathi, KL Choy, Tay Bee Choo and Christine Khor. Serene, KL Choy, Bee Choo and Christine are from outstation. Due to the spirit of volunteerism and camaraderie, they made the extra effort to be with us at the Training.

During the Training, Bee Choo (from Johor Baru) and Christine (from Penang) stayed at my place. After the Training on Day 3, I took Bee Choo, Jennifer, my father and our friend, Catherine Eu (former Executive Director of the Bar Council, Malaysia) to Jinjang (Kepong) to try this unique steamboat porridge dinner. Amongst the dishes was a plate of “live” prawns. The prawns were still moving and active. You have to literally and physically put the prawns into the pot of hot steamboat porridge. You can’t get the prawns any fresher than that. Without a doubt, the prawns were simply delicious. On Day 4, Christine Khor joined us from Penang. Catherine Eu invited us over to her place for dinner but we had a better idea, we asked her to join us for seafood dinner in Port Klang. We went to this place called “Klang Seafood” and had crabs, “sotong”, fried “hokkien mee” just to name a few. It was real fun having Bee Choo and Catherine over at our place.

When it comes to food, I digressed. Let us get back to the Training. We had a wonderful group of people comprising of senior lawyers, marriage therapist, psychologist and a medical doctor as participants. As Puan Hendon remarked in her closing speech, this Training was conducted in a different style compared  to the previous trainings. In this Training, we played games, had short exercises, several role plays and we showed seven (7) different video clips. The clips are fun videos featuring flash mob, baby laughing and also “gang-nam style”. We wanted to keep the Training exciting and lively for the participants. It was our intention get them on their feet and keep them moving. We even had a “set-up” sketch where my secretary, Michelle Martin played the role of the “rude lady” who kept on interrupting me while I was conducting the Training. It was all done in good fun with a specific purpose. If you want to know the purpose, come and join us in the next Training.

Besides having fun, the Training was also quite a personal challenge for me. On the last day, I had food poisoning and was throwing up. Later on, I discovered that a number of participants also experienced the same thing. However, as they say, “the show must go on”. I am thankful to Bee Choo, Christine and a few others who were constantly checking on me throughout the day. My thanks also go to Marianna Tan and Faizal who showed genuine concern. They are from the Malaysian Mediation Centre and have been a great help throughout the Training. In that Training, I also took my final bow as that was my final training given as a member of the Malaysian Bar. A lot of nice memories and I made a lot of good friends. Thank you everyone!

Mediation Skills Training Course at the Industrial Court - 18th -22nd Sept 2012

Distinguished participants

"Mediation Skills and Techniques" book presentation

The Malaysian Mediation Centre (MMC) conducted a 5 days Mediation Certification Course at the Industrial Court, Malaysia recently. It ran from 18th September 2012 till 22nd September 2012. The venue was at the Industrial Court itself in Kuala Lumpur. The trainers were Nacha, Meg and myself. Nacha and Meg did most of the work while I handled the topic on techniques or better known as “Dealing with Stubborn Behaviour”. I informed the participants that I intend to replace the negative word “Stubborn” with “challenges”. Why? Because challenges can be overcome! The participants were made up of the Chairmen and Chairwomen of the Industrial Court (“Industrial Court Judges”), the Registrar, the Deputy Registrar and the Assistant Registrars. They came from Kuala Lumpur, Perak, Sarawak and Johor.

The feedback from the participants was positive. I think most of them enjoyed the course very much. I wish I could share more techniques with the participants but because this  is a Certification course, there were a lot of grounds to cover apart from mediation techniques. As usual, the training would not have been possible without the support of the wonderful coaches like the ever obliging Puan Hendon, the ever friendly and helpful Tejinderpal, the witty Wong Lu Peen, Sumathi and a few others. For the record, the trainers and coaches were not paid. All monies collected go to the MMC fund.

Rachel Tan who is now with Thomson Reuters Malaysia (Sweet & Maxwell Asia) made an appearance with copies of my book. The Industrial Court bought seven (7) copies of my book to be distributed to the various Courts in Malaysia. Thank you so much for the great support. All of us had a great time and hope that we will be able to conduct more of these trainings in the future.