A story from "Earth Hour"

Yesterday (23rd March 2013), we had “black-out” from 8.30pm to 9.30pm in most parts of Sydney in conjunction with Earth Hour. I am sure you will be experiencing the same in whichever part of the world you are in. I remembered some years ago, when our daughter, Ashley was just seven years old, she came home from school all excited about Earth Hour. She insisted that we must have the one hour “black out” in our home in Kuala Lumpur. Her teacher told the class that this will save the environment and drive a strong environmental message to the world. I must say I was pretty naive at that time. I have not heard of Earth Hour as it was still new at that time (though, I have heard of the Earth Song by Michael Jackson!), so I asked Ashley what is Earth Hour? Ashley replied that Earth Hour means that we have to off all the lights for an hour to save electricity and the environment. I asked her where did she hear about it. She replied that she heard from her teacher and everyone in her class is going to do it.

After hearing our little girl, Jennifer and I decided that we should adhere to our little princess’ wish and we will have a total electricity cut off in our home from 8.30pm to 9.30pm on 23rd March 2008. We were all in one bedroom as our young kids slept with us. As soon as the clock struck 8.30pm, we switched off all the lights and we could see how excited our little girl was. However, as soon as I switched off the air-conditioner, I could hear groaning of displeasure and disappointment. Our daughter started to complain why on Earth did I switched off the air-conditioner, as it was really hot.  I told her that the air-conditioner consumed a lot of electricity and power, in fact more than all the lights that we have in our bedroom. Our little daughter said the teacher said we should switched off all the lights but the teacher did not mention about air-conditioners. Well, after our little girl stated her case and argument, we decided to come to a compromise (Mediation comes into play!). We have agreed that all the lights will be off but the air-conditioner will remain on - in other words, we will “suffer in comfort”.

What made this conversation with my daughter interesting is that young children tend to take information and instructions literally. One needs to be very careful when disseminating information or instructions. A young mind tends to absorb a lot of information and because their learning power is greater than an adult, they tend to take things in a literal sense. So when a person jokes in front of a child, just make sure that the child knows that it wasn’t meant to be serious and it was just made in good decent fun. Meanwhile, happy Earth Hour everybody

Moving away from your "comfort zone"

Whenever someone moves to a new country, the person tends to bring a lot of things from the home country. The main reason is to have a sense of familiarity and to avoid being homesick. Some people would bring their favourite food (subject to Customs and Quarantine's clearance), their favourite pillow, their favourite ornament(s) and of course, photos to remind them of their former home. The question is does it help to have familiar things around you when you are suppose to settle in by adjusting to your new life in a new country?

There are two school of thoughts on this issue. One says that it is good to have things that you are comfortable and familiar with to be around you. In other words, it will be easier for you to settle into the new country as you will not miss your former homeland too much. The second school of thought says it is not a good idea. By having familiar things around you, you will be put into your comfort zone. Once you are too comfortable, you will find it challenging to move out of that zone. If you don’t move out from that zone, you can’t move on with you life. In other words, you are not able to adapt yourself to the new country and to the new culture. You will always tend to stick with people from your home country and miss out on a lot of important things around you that you are too blinded to see.

If you are put under the circumstances of moving to a new country, which school of thought would you say that you fall under? As for me, when moving to Sydney, I brought only the essential things such as books that I will need, pots and pans, a piano and things which I need but can’t find or just too expensive in Sydney. As for food, I brought only enough to satisfy my taste bud in the event that I miss the spicy stuff. You see, before I left Malaysia, I was more inclined to follow the first school of thought. When I arrived in Australia, I began to realise that I will not be able to settle in if I hold on to my comfort zone and not move out of it. For who knows, I might actually like what is outside of my comfort zone. I also realised that I will not be able to fit into the society here in Sydney if I hold on to what I am comfortable with back in Malaysia. So, the key here is learning to adapt and keep an open mind. The second key is to observe your surrounding. Observe by watching and listening to the local people around you. Your visual and auditory skills are important here. This is to place you into their system of doing things -ie: what is acceptable and how to get things done effectively in this new environment. Once you get into the system in which the society functions in your new environment, you will find your comfort zone start expanding and that is a good thing. I am still learning and will share new things along the way with you. Until then........

A story about "EXPECTATION" - keep well, Adam!

“EXPECTATION” - a big word which we normally use in training and sometimes in Mediation as well. Trainers and Mediators would asked the participants or parties, “What are your expectations for being here today?” This is a way of gauging the parties’ needs so that the Trainer or the Mediator can attempt to meet those needs. However, I am of the view that for the Trainer or Mediator to have a certain “expectation” of the participants or the parties may not be healthy. By having “expectations”, you are already forming a pre-conception of what is to take place. If the results are not up to the Mediator or the Trainer’s “expectations”, then the Mediator or the Trainer’s self-esteem and emotions will be affected. Let me share with you a story about “Expectation”.

Yesterday, I received a telephone call from Adam, an old friend of mine. Adam is a survivor of many life challenges. He survived a heart scare (went through angioplasty many years ago) and defeated cancer (he was in advanced stage and overcame that challenge). Once Adam went into remission with the cancer, he has completely changed his lifestyle. He exercises regularly, he watches his food intake and he is really a big fan of nutritions and supplements. Apart from that, Adam (like me previously) attends Zhi Neng Qi Gong (a form of Chinese energy exercise that increases your Qi (energy)) classes regularly. I must say that Adam look very well, better than I have seen for years.

Recently, Adam went on an extensive tour of China. He told me it was a very strenuous trip with a lot of walking and climbing. He enjoyed the trip thoroughly. When he came back,  he thought this would be a good time to go for a stress test since his health and stamina were at their peak. He made an appointment with the Medical Centre and went for the stress test. Adam “expected” the results to be flying colours in view of his stamina shown during his recent trip to China. When the results came back, the cardiologist informed Adam that he wasn’t too happy about the results and asked him to do an angiogram to explore further. Adam was disappointed but nevertheless, decided to do the angiogram in Sydney. Adam’s family has a long history of heart issues so Adam thought at worst, the heart issue can probably fixed by having another angioplasty. That was another “expectation” from Adam.

So, Adam left for Sydney and went to one of the best Heart Centres in Sydney. When he went for further medical tests and angiogram, the cardiologist had some even bigger news to tell Adam, something that Adam did not “expect”. The cardiologist informed Adam that he had five (5) blockages) and needed to do a by-pass. Adam agreed and has now recovered well and live to tell the story. All it took was just eight days stay in the hospital which included the two days stay for the angiogram and other medical tests.

One thing I learned from this story was that by having an “expectation”, Adam was already forming an idea in his head but fortunately for Adam, he is also a practical person, so he knew the reality of things. In case, some of you may be wondering whether it is worthwhile to take supplements, exercise, practicing Zhi Neng Qi Gong and eating right in view that all of this still happened to Adam in spite of him living such an healthy style? Well, let me state my theory on this. It is precisely this healthy life style that Adam adopted that prevented him from suffering the consequences of the blockages. It is also precisely this healthy style that helped Adam to recover so fast and so well. For all we know, Adam could already had this blockages years ago but because of his rigorous exercise and healthy lifestyle, he did not experience any symptoms and as a matter of fact gave him the extra boost and energy to do things that he wasn’t able to do before. So, let me say again, exercise, eat right, lead an healthy lifestyle and do not have too many “expectations” in life and you will live a long and meaningful life.

My visit to LEADR in Sydney, Australia

Me and Fiona Hollier (CEO of LEADR)

This morning, I had the privilege of visiting LEADR which is one of Australia's leading Dispute Resolution Organisation in downtown Sydney. I had a meeting with Fiona Hollier who is the CEO of LEADR for about an hour. It was a very fruitful meeting. We exchanged ideas on Mediation training and assessment. All I can say from the meeting is that we have got a lot to learn from our friends here in Australia. I presented a copy of my book "Mediation Skills and Techniques" to LEADR and in return I was presented with some wonderful souvenirs. LEADR is a non-profit organisation and you can learn more about it by visiting their website www.leadr.com.au

Sydney - here we come!

Robert Yap and Mok Singh helping to us to remove the door

My father taking a break near the patio

Mok and Douglas checking their facebook

Gary "the kampung boy" Wilson and me

My "twin" brother and I

G’day from Sydney, Australia! I am currently typing this from our new home in Chatswood. My family and I are still adjusting and settling down here in Sydney. We have got a lot of things done over the past few days. The number one priority was to enroll our children, Ashley and Douglas in the local schools here and thankfully, that have been taken care of. We also have some banking matters to deal with and that too have been accomplished. We also got some basic furnishings for our house such as sofa beds, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, microwave, etc. Thankfully, my father, my brother Clarence, my good friend Mok Singh and my new friend, Gary Wilson came down from the Gold Coast to help us. Not forgetting also, our friend from Klang, Robert Yap who is currently residing in Cherrybrooke who came and helped us to fix up a few things. Jennifer’s sister, Dr Penny Lim who is a dermatologist here in Sydney came and picked us up from the airport. She and her family have been a wonderful help to us. My cousin, Molly (Arnyi) has been a tremendous help in assisting us to choose furnitures and getting us around. To all of you, we salute you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Dealing with queues

Inspite of the growing crowd, only 2 counters were opened!

It would be nice if more counters were opened 

Passengers patiently queuing up

A few weeks ago, my family and I visited Sydney. As some of you know, Sydney will be our new home this coming December. For this particular trip, we took Malaysia Airlines (MAS), our national carrier. I must say it has been years since I flew with MAS. With so many airlines to choose from, consumers tend to have an upper hand here. For me and my family, it is purely economics. We will fly with whichever airline that can give us the best deal. It so happened that MAS has got the best deal, so MAS it was.

When we arrived in KLIA, we found ourselves in a sea of crowd. You see, MAS has got a common check-in counter. Unlike Air Asia, where you go to the specific counter (based on your destination) for check-in, everyone has to queue in a common line in order to check-in with MAS. What made it even more challenging was there were only 2 counters opened at that time. I thought they would open more counters to cater the growing crowd. It took us close to an hour before we could checked in and that was after MAS decided to open a couple more counters. However, I must add that the counter lady was very polite and patient. Even though she was a ground staff, she definitely represented MAS in a positive light, a lady with the “golden smile”.

The plane that took us to Sydney was a Boeing 747-400 or commonly known as a “jumbo jet” which at one time was the prime airship. I have not flown in a Boeing 747-400 for ages, so can you imagine when we took our seats. The seat I was assigned to was wobbly and you could see that the plane had aged quite a bit. However, to make up for that rather unfortunate experience, again I must say that the cabin crew (though most of them were fairly mature which in my opinion was a good thing) had provided “golden service” throughout the flight. 

When we arrived in Sydney International Airport at about 8.00am Sydney time, we were once again faced with large crowd of people queueing up at the Immigration Counters. It was time like this that many of the foreigners in the queue wished they were holding Australian passports! The line at the Immigration Counter for Australian passport holders was a breeze. Inspite of the long queue, I was rather surprised that the line moved rather quickly. From my observation, it took an average of less than 2 minutes to check and stamped the foreign passenger’s passport PROVIDED that the passenger does not chat and crack silly jokes with the Immigration officers. How did the Immigration deal so quickly with the queue? Simple! Open more counters. As a matter a fact, at one time, the Counter that was handling Australian passport holders even chipped in to deal with the increasing foreign passengers.

Personally, I think our national carrier, MAS should spent a little bit of time to find effective methods to deal with long queues. Passengers would love to have something wonderful to remember about their trips and it wouldn’t be pleasant if all they remembered were waiting and queueing and waiting and queueing.............