A story from "Earth Hour"

Yesterday (23rd March 2013), we had “black-out” from 8.30pm to 9.30pm in most parts of Sydney in conjunction with Earth Hour. I am sure you will be experiencing the same in whichever part of the world you are in. I remembered some years ago, when our daughter, Ashley was just seven years old, she came home from school all excited about Earth Hour. She insisted that we must have the one hour “black out” in our home in Kuala Lumpur. Her teacher told the class that this will save the environment and drive a strong environmental message to the world. I must say I was pretty naive at that time. I have not heard of Earth Hour as it was still new at that time (though, I have heard of the Earth Song by Michael Jackson!), so I asked Ashley what is Earth Hour? Ashley replied that Earth Hour means that we have to off all the lights for an hour to save electricity and the environment. I asked her where did she hear about it. She replied that she heard from her teacher and everyone in her class is going to do it.

After hearing our little girl, Jennifer and I decided that we should adhere to our little princess’ wish and we will have a total electricity cut off in our home from 8.30pm to 9.30pm on 23rd March 2008. We were all in one bedroom as our young kids slept with us. As soon as the clock struck 8.30pm, we switched off all the lights and we could see how excited our little girl was. However, as soon as I switched off the air-conditioner, I could hear groaning of displeasure and disappointment. Our daughter started to complain why on Earth did I switched off the air-conditioner, as it was really hot.  I told her that the air-conditioner consumed a lot of electricity and power, in fact more than all the lights that we have in our bedroom. Our little daughter said the teacher said we should switched off all the lights but the teacher did not mention about air-conditioners. Well, after our little girl stated her case and argument, we decided to come to a compromise (Mediation comes into play!). We have agreed that all the lights will be off but the air-conditioner will remain on - in other words, we will “suffer in comfort”.

What made this conversation with my daughter interesting is that young children tend to take information and instructions literally. One needs to be very careful when disseminating information or instructions. A young mind tends to absorb a lot of information and because their learning power is greater than an adult, they tend to take things in a literal sense. So when a person jokes in front of a child, just make sure that the child knows that it wasn’t meant to be serious and it was just made in good decent fun. Meanwhile, happy Earth Hour everybody

Do you remember your school song?

SK Seri Hartamas' school song sung by Class 2012

LA Salle Klang's school song sung by Class 1985

I sure do. However, do you remember the NAME of your school song? No, I don’t. All I remember was that it goes something like this, “All through our classes, a voice is resounding.....”. I remember the lyrics well but somehow the NAME of the school song just slipped my mind. You probably wonder, how can a person still remember the school song after close to 30 years. Well, as my former schoolmate and friend, Winston Pang said, “How can you ever forget a song that you have sung every Monday for 5 years. Somehow the words are etched in your brain just like information stored in a computer hard disk”. That was a good reframe by Winston! Last year (2011), we had a class reunion (Class 1985) at La Salle Klang. We actually visited our old classroom and had the same class monitor (Harry Hubert) and our Form 2 class teacher (Bro Andrew Loke) with us. We decided to reminisce our old school days by having the class monitor giving his usual command “Class stand, good evening Bro Andrew” and then followed by us (the former students). We ended by singing the school song which everyone remembered.

Recently, I attended Ashley and Douglas’ “Prize Giving Day” and “Graduation Night”. There was a good mix of students coming from different classes and from different years singing the school song. I am not sure whether those who were leaving school realised at that time, that was probably the last time that they would be singing the school song in their school uniform. Anyway the school song was sung in high spirit with pure gusto. Have a listen to both school songs (both mine and my children) and see who gave a better performance! :-)

Have you tried the "salted peanuts" on board Malaysia Airlines (MAS)?

If you have not, you should. The "salted peanuts" are really good!

I know I have written about Malaysia Airlines (MAS) and talked about its service before in this blog. Like all things in life, we have to be fair with our comments. If we feel there are certain things lacking then we should voice out our concern and perhaps even suggest ways that can help to improve the situation. Likewise, if there are things which are done well, we should be generous with our praises and that is exactly what I am going to do in this posting.

My views on Malaysia Airlines’ food are still the same - unpalatable! However, I reiterate my admiration for the cabin crew and their inflight service. On our MAS flight from Sydney to Kuala Lumpur recently, we were served with some refreshments. The refreshments consisted of drinks (juices, sodas, beer, wine or water) and packets of salted peanuts. The cabin crew who attended to us was one Lee Siok Choy (I hope I got his name correctly) whom I noticed was very good in his job. He would made cheerful remarks to the passengers while serving them. It wasn’t so much of what was said, it was more of the way he interacted with the passengers that made them feel at ease. He was also very attentive and efficient. Before the food cart was pushed towards our section of the aircraft, he was already taking orders for food (you know the standard “would you like the fish or the chicken?” Initially, I doubted that he could remember all of the orders but surprisingly he remembered them and directed his colleagues to serve the right food to the respective passengers. Ashley, Jennifer and I ordered the Noodles (Vermicelli or “Bee Hoon”) with beef while Douglas had chicken. It was a mistake to order the Noodles as it didn’t taste good at all. As a matter of fact, Ashley threw up on board the flight, not sure if it was caused by the food but I suspected it may have something to do with it. The only consolation was the mango ice-cream which was very good. The mango ice-cream was from Australia.

I didn’t realise at that time that our cabin crew Lee Siok Choy was observing that we were not eating the food except for the salted peanuts which by that time I had already consumed four (4) packets. Lee Siok Choy has a very keen eye, he saw that both the passenger in front as well as Jennifer have empty mineral water bottles in their seat pockets. He immediately offered to fill up the bottle for them which they happily accepted. When the time to serve the snacks came, we were given the option of either “chicken or vegetable pie”. Sounds palatable? Well, the pies came in a cardboard box and it was nothing like the chicken pie or vegetable pie that we know very well. We have been frequently served with this “snack” whenever we flew with MAS. Naturally, I declined the “snack”. Lee Siok Choy was shocked that I declined the “snack” and asked again and again whether I am sure about it. He said to let him know if I changed my mind. Anyway my decision was firm.

As the plane was about to land and being the observant person, Lee Siok Choy offered to give me a few packets of the salted peanuts which I have been eating to fill my tummy. That was a very nice gesture which I truly appreciated. I must add here that all of the cabin crew on board that particular flight were friendly and helpful but to me, Lee Siok Choy stood out. He has got some good people skills and I believe would make a rather good Mediator. So, Lee Siok Choy, if you are reading this post and you are interested to be a Mediator, please let me know!

Thank you and good-bye SKSH - "SKSH forever"

"SKSH forever"

The Proud Mums

Ashley with few of her good friends

The "cool boys" of SKSH

The words said it all

The Finale - "Sealed with a Kiss"

Saying goodbye...until we meet again!

Ashley embracing her good friend, Safia Razin

On 6th November 2012, Jennifer, Douglas and I attended Ashley’s farewell night at Sekolah Kebangsaan Seri Hartamas. It was a fun evening with good food and entertainment. The event was well attended by the Standard Six pupils (the event was for them as they will be leaving school soon), the Principal, teachers and parents. The Standard Six pupils put on a very good show with some individual singers, choir and dancing ala 1960s style. The theme of the night was “Retro Night”. Jennifer and I didn’t know what “Retro” was so we googled it and this is what it says, “old fashioned” style. Again, the definition was rather vague and we clicked “images” and then we got it! It means the bell bottom and colourful era. Initially, Jennifer wanted to wear “kebaya” but that may not fall into the category of “Retro” so we decided to wear something less formal.

The Standard Six pupils put on a splendid show. You could see that a lot of efforts were put into the performance. What amazed us were the camaraderie and the genuine friendship shown by the pupils to each other. If only the adults could behaved like that, the world would have been a peaceful one. For a short while there, even the parents were behaving like 12 years old - giggling, laughing and teasing each other.

The food was good with a lot of nice local flavour such as “satay ayam” (chicken satay), “soto ayam”, nasi tomato, fried fish fillet, “ice kacang” and “teh tarik”. The food was served ala “buffet style” and the lines were orderly.

The finale on that evening was an emotional and touching one. The Standard Six pupils were invited to the stage to deliver three (3) songs as a final tribute to the teachers, parents and friends. It started with “Ilhamku” (My inspiration), “To Sir with Love” and the last one was “Sealed with a Kiss”. I could observed from the songs that somehow the lyrics and the tune had an impact on the students’ emotions. “Ilhamku” was sang quite solemnly and then when it came to “To Sir with Love”, some of the students’ voices were already cracking and when the famous words “Though we gotta say goodbye for the summer.....” from “Sealed with the Kiss” was sung, tears were beginning to flow. What made it even more emotional was than when “Sealed with the Kiss” was sung, the students in an orderly manner moved and shook hands with each other. Some even embraced and let the tears flowed freely. Even some of the parents including Jennifer shed a few tears. After having spent six (6) wonderful years at Sekolah Kebangsaan Seri Hartamas, you can’t help but feel emotional. Jennifer, Ashley, Douglas and myself would like to say a big “thank you” to all the wonderful teachers and friends that we have met along the way. Whenever you are in Sydney, please look us up!

Sydney - here we come!

Robert Yap and Mok Singh helping to us to remove the door

My father taking a break near the patio

Mok and Douglas checking their facebook

Gary "the kampung boy" Wilson and me

My "twin" brother and I

G’day from Sydney, Australia! I am currently typing this from our new home in Chatswood. My family and I are still adjusting and settling down here in Sydney. We have got a lot of things done over the past few days. The number one priority was to enroll our children, Ashley and Douglas in the local schools here and thankfully, that have been taken care of. We also have some banking matters to deal with and that too have been accomplished. We also got some basic furnishings for our house such as sofa beds, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, microwave, etc. Thankfully, my father, my brother Clarence, my good friend Mok Singh and my new friend, Gary Wilson came down from the Gold Coast to help us. Not forgetting also, our friend from Klang, Robert Yap who is currently residing in Cherrybrooke who came and helped us to fix up a few things. Jennifer’s sister, Dr Penny Lim who is a dermatologist here in Sydney came and picked us up from the airport. She and her family have been a wonderful help to us. My cousin, Molly (Arnyi) has been a tremendous help in assisting us to choose furnitures and getting us around. To all of you, we salute you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Touching stories from school

Here are some touching stories which either been told to me or I have seen it first hand:-

Touching story from school #1

One day, Jennifer was in our children’s school canteen (Sekolah Kebangsaan Seri Hartamas) when she saw a young boy about 7 years old (Standard 1), queuing up to buy his food. He wanted a plate of rice with a piece of chicken and some curry gravy. All he had was just RM2.00. When the canteen operator handed him the food, he handed the RM2.00 to the canteen operator. The canteen operator shook his head and told him in a polite manner, it is RM2.50 for that plate of rice with a piece of chicken. The boy who was hungry enquired how much would the plate of rice cost without the chicken. The man replied it will be RM1.00. The boy requested the canteen operator to remove the chicken and he would just have the rice and gravy. While all of this was happening, there was a school teacher and parent observing the scene from behind. Both of them immediately told the canteen operator to leave that piece of chicken on the plate. The school teacher went even further to ask the boy not to hand the plate to the canteen operator. The other parent was seen reaching into his pocket wanting to pay for the boy’s food. However, for some reason, the canteen operator took the RM2.00 and the boy got to keep his plate of rice with chicken curry.

What I find really fascinating about this story was that the adults came together to help the boy. There was empathy all around. We have discussed about empathy in Mediation, well, the school teacher and the parent certainly emphatised with the boy. Contrast this story with the one I am going to relate below.

Touching story #2

I remembered when I was in primary school, we used to hold class party at the end of the school term. The teacher would ask the students to bring either a dish or drinks to class to be shared. I remembered there were a few students who did not bring any of the items to school. The teacher would make the students stand and formed a row in front of their friends in the classroom. Each student will then hold an empty plate in front of them as if they were beggars. Once all the food had been distributed, the remaining or extra food will be placed on the empty plates belonging to those students standing in front. The teacher felt that the students should be punished as they did not contribute any food or drinks to the class. What the teacher had neglected to do was to find out why the students did not contribute. If it was done on purpose, then I suppose I can agree about the so called “punishment” but you see, I didn’t know the full story until I heard from one of my classmates who got “punished” on that day.

This classmate of mine came from a rather poor family background. He knew that if he was to inform his mum about bringing food or drinks to class, it would be a heavy financial burden and effort on his mum. As it was, placing food every night on the dining table in the house was already a daunting task. Therefore, he decided to remain quiet and not to allow his mum to worry. This classmate had tears in his eyes when he told me this. In fact, he refused to eat any of the  food placed on his plate by the teacher. He had pride and he didn’t want to beg or being pitied.

That is why when we talked about Mediation, we always say that the Mediator must find the “underlying reason” why did the people act the way they did. There must be a reason for it. As the Mediator, it is our job to find out that “underlying reason” and not make assumptions. If we look at the above story, the matter could be better handled if the teacher made the effort to find out the cause of not bringing food or drinks to be shared in class. Many disputes could be avoided if we only make the effort of finding out the "real cause" of the dispute rather than what we see in the surface.

The Launching of “Mediation Skills and Techniques”

The book launch held on 14^th May 2012 was a great success. We had about a hundred people who attended the launch. Mediation Skills and Techniques became a best seller on that day. The books were completely sold out. A number of guests were disappointed that they were not able to purchase the book on the day of the launch. However, the publisher Thomson Reuters / Sweet & Maxwell Asia managed to remedy the situation by handing out order forms and promising quick delivery as soon as the books are in stock. For my part, if you have received the book, please contact me at Seumas@MediationSkills.org and I will be more than happy to autograph it for you.

Speaking about autographing, the books were supposed to go on sale after the official launch, however, something amusing happened along the way that got the books to go on sale before the official launch took place. Immediately after the workshop, I was approached by Mahendran from Thomson Reuters’ marketing department to sign two copies of the book. One copy was to be given to Lim Chee Wee (President of the Malaysian Bar) while the other was to be given to Datuk Kuthubul Zaman Bukhari (Chairman of the Malaysian Mediation Centre /Chairman of the Asian Mediation Association) as token of appreciation for launching the book. As I was signing the two copies, I did not realize there was already a queue forming in front of me waiting to purchase the book. I was truly humbled by that experience to see so many of you supporting my writing career. Mahendran asked me whether he could go ahead to sell the book in view that Mediation Skills and Techniques has not been formally launched yet. Well, for logistic reason, I asked Mahendran to go ahead with the sale as there was already a line forming. I was most delighted to meet so many of you and it has been an honour and privilege to sign so many books on that day. By the time Mediation Skills and Techniques was officially launched, the books have already gone out of stock. According to the Publisher, this was one of the rarest moments as far as they can remember or perhaps the first time ever that the books were completely sold out at a launch! 

The programme for the book launch started right on the dot (the Malaysian time concept certainly did not apply here!). Rachel Tan being the ever gracious person accepted my invitation to be the MC for the book launch. She did a splendid job! The programme started with a short speech from Prakash Nagarajan who is the Business Development Manager, Thomson Reuters / Sweet & Maxwell, South East Asia who represented the Managing Director who was away at that time. 

Immediately after Prakash’s speech was my turn to speak. In my speech, I shared with the guests on what inspired me to write and how I believe in writing books which are easy to read and understand, simple and yet practical. I informed the guests that I do not believe in writing voluminous books and if anyone can even remember half of what they have read, that would have been fantastic. It was precisely for that very reason, I put in a lot of stories and illustrations in the book. It is my hope that the readers are able to relate to those stories and easily recall the techniques and skills when the need arises. It is easier to remember the story rather than the theory. At the end, I thanked all those people who have supported me and gave me unconditional love all these years – just to name a few, my beautiful wife Jennifer, my kids Ashley and Douglas and my parents.

Immediately after my speech came Lim Chee Wee’s speech. Chee Wee, the ever humble fella who had sportingly allowed me to pick on him during my speech started by saying “In consistent with my height, my speech is going to be SHORT!!!” Chee Wee gave a very touching speech saying that the Malaysian Bar will miss me when I move to Sydney at the end of the year. Chee Wee paid a small tribute to me by saying that when I leave Malaysia, I will be leaving a small legacy behind knowing that the book will leave a mark in Malaysia. Chee Wee urged me to consider to remain as a lawyer in Malaysia and also a lawyer in Sydney, thus becoming an international lawyer (hmmm…..sounds tempting but I am not sure whether the Legal Profession Act 1976 would allow it. I need to check on that).

The next speech came from Datuk Kuthubul Zaman who said that when he first met me, he was amazed that I could hypnotized people, however, at that time he wasn’t sure whether I would make a good Mediator. Datuk Zaman related some old and amusing stories and finally concluded that I have met all of the criterias (I am not sure what the criterias are now) that made me an excellent Mediator! Well, thank you for your kind words, Datuk. It looks like I got some big shoes to fill!

Then the highlight of the launch was the signing of the mock book cover by Lim Chee Wee and Datuk Kuthubul Zaman. It was a wonderful day for me. Many friends attended the launch. Some of them were my former school mates like Yip Chee Seng and my good buddies, Choong Tuck Meng and wife, Daniel Boon, Leong Meng Leong, Syed Annuar, Sharifah, Francis Chong, Mark Ong and Suresh Kumar. His Excellency, the High Commissioner of Singapore, Mr Ong Keng Yong and the Counsellor Mike Kuek were there as well. My fellow Mediators, Gunavathi, Nacha, Tejinder, Wong Lu Peen, Sivanesan and Sumathi were there to lend support as well. I have also invited the High Commissioner of Australia who unfortunately was unable to attend as he had a prior engagement. In view of my ties with Australia, it would have been nice if the Australian High Commission send a representative to the launch instead. Oh, well.....things happen for a reason.  

I would like to mention a special thank you to my good friend Yuen Wing Soon whom I regard as one of the top photographers in Malaysia for taking all the wonderful pictures. Yuen normally takes photographs of catwalk models. I guess by taking photos of me, it would be a great challenge for him, especially the touching up of the photos! As my wife said, even though the launch has been over for more than a week, my tail is still wagging!