Incident No. 2
This is the second story relating to Self Esteem. It happened close to 18 years ago and I could still remember it vividly because it was like a story out of a Hollywood movie. This incident was the result of a murder, suspected infidelity, jail and young children. You may asked me what has all of that got to do with Self Esteem? Well, nothing directly but the consequences deeply impacted the children’s self esteem.
It all happened one day when my mother’s long time facial therapist enquired if I was able to assist her nephews and nieces in sorting out their financial matters including a real estate property. Initially, I thought they were all grown-ups but when I was told of their age, I was taken aback. They were all minors except for one who had just attained the age of majority. Naturally, the first question I asked was “What happened to their parents?”. The aunt replied, “Father is in jail. Mother is deceased.” According to the aunt, except for the eldest who has a boyfriend, the rest of them are living with the late mother’s sister. The aunt then said, “I know lawyers are expensive and they don’t have much money.......”. I told her not to worry about that, bring all the documents to me and allow me to have a look. I informed her that once I have seen all of the documents, I will call them to come to my office for a discussion.
A few days later, I received an envelope containing a stack of documents. When I opened up the envelope, I found bank statements, a copy of the title deed and lots of newspaper cuttings. Initially, I thought it was the late mother’s obituaries. However, when I picked up one of the cuttings, I was shocked to discover that the late mother was murdered. What was even more shocking was that the murderer was none other than the father himself who was then awaiting sentence in prison. The newspaper cuttings contained a number of gruesome pictures and also heart wrenching photos of the children clearly in distraught. Sometimes, this made me wonder about the standard of reporting and ethics in journalism. Personally, I do not agree of publishing such photos in magazines, newspapers or any other publications.
Based on the newspaper report, the children’s father was a push cart fruit seller while the mother had recently got a job helping out in a coffee shop. Money was tight for the family, so the mother worked long hours. Apparently, the owner of the coffee shop was rather sympathetic to the mother and frequently asked her to take back the remaining food for her family at the closing of each business day. Meanwhile, the father was becoming suspicious of the business owner who had been very kind to his wife. The father had frequently quarreled with the wife about the business owner’s kindness shown towards the wife. One evening, the father who was heavily intoxicated waited for the wife to return from work. As usual, the coffee shop closed rather late and the wife came back all tired and ready to go to bed. The father insisted that the wife spent some intimate time with him but the wife refused saying she was tired. That triggered the father. He became infuriated and accused her of many things. The quarrel then escalated resulting the father stabbing the mother numerous times. The heart wrenching part is that while all of this was happening, the children were present. You can imagine how difficult it had been for the kids. Even as I typed this article, I could still feel a lump in my throat thinking about it.
After studying the documents, I was ready to meet the children and called them in for a meeting. There were five of them who came including the eldest daughter’s boyfriend. The eldest daughter being older and more mature was the spokesperson. I was amazed with her emotional strength as she related to me the incident and the help she needed. The rest of the kids were polite and rather quiet. When I saw them, they had very low self esteem as they felt defeated that they could not do anything to save the mother’s life and also, they have been shunned by many so called friends due to the incident. Putting aside all emotions, I proposed to them how we are going to proceed from there and this involved getting the father to sign some documents. I informed them that I will need to go to the prison to explain the contents of the documents to the father and then to witness his signature. I invited them to come with me but all them refused. They told me that they could not forgive what the father had did to the mother. They didn’t want to have anything to do with him at all. On one hand, I could understand where they were coming from but on the other hand, I felt that this would not solve the ordeal, the emotions, the low self esteem and more importantly to find closure, which they really needed. So, I told them to come with me and just make the introduction so that the father know my role and purpose of the visit. I told them, it would take less than 5 minutes. The eldest daughter informed me that she will come with me. She and her boyfriend will meet me at the prison. So, we fixed the appointment and agreed to meet in front of the prison on that appointed day and time.
On that fateful day, I was surprised to find that all of the siblings were there besides the sister and her boyfriend. Together, we went to the reception area of the Prison to register our visit. The warden who was manning the counter informed us that he couldn’t allow me to go in with the prisoner’s children as I would be going in as a professional person (ie: lawyer) while the rest would be visiting the prisoner as family members. Leaving me with no choice, I told the children to go ahead and see their dad first. More importantly, to let him know that I am the lawyer and the purpose of my visit. Due to security reason, I was not allowed to enter the prisoner’s visitor area until all the children are completely out from the area. While waiting for the kids to come out, a warden approached me and out of curiosity, asked me why did I come to the prison because as far as he knew the prisoner had a court appointed lawyer and the lawyer had since discharged himself from representing the prisoner any further. I told him that I was representing the eldest daughter and her siblings. The prison warden informed me that the prisoner was just like an ordinary “uncle” and at one stage was placed in a mental facility because he got very agitated and guilty whenever he recalled the incident. He would hit his head against the wall whenever he recalled the incident. The prison warden said that the prosecution team said that they could assist in recommending a life imprisonment if the prisoner’s lawyer make a written request for it. Since currently, there was no one representing him, the prison warden asked me to consider representing the prisoner and make the request on the prisoner’s behalf. While giving some thoughts to that discussion, I couldn’t help but noticed that the children’s visit had taken more than 5 minutes and we were closely approaching an hour. When the children came out, they told me it was a good visit and I could see teary eyes in most of them. I bid them farewell and proceeded to visit the prisoner.
When I walked into the prisoner’s visitor area, a man in prison uniform whom I recognised as the father quickly stood up and greeted me. I couldn’t help but noticed that he was handcuffed, meaning that the prisoner could be dangerous and there were wardens just a few feet from the cell for my safety. The first thing he did was that the prisoner took out a can of soda and offered it to me. I knew that the can of soda was considered as a “luxury item” as it was bought from the prisoners’ canteen with hard earned prison wages. I told him to keep it and save it for himself later. However, he insisted and pulled the tab from the can and passed it to me. There was no way to say “no” now. I asked him whether his children had told him about me and the purpose of my visit. He nodded so I proceeded to explain to him the contents of the documents. He was listening closely and at times smiling to himself as if he was a happy man. By the time, I finished explaining, I asked him if he had any questions for me. He said, “no” but he said that he would like to say “thank you” to me for looking after his children’s affairs. I felt that this would be the right time to tell him what the prison warden told me about requesting for a life imprisonment rather than capital punishment. He just shook his head and informed me that he was aware of it and he had been informed a number of times by the prison wardens. Even his previous lawyer advised him the same thing but he refused to request for a lighter sentence. He told me it was time for him to pay for his crime and to meet his Maker (ie: he was prepared to die for his crime). He said even if he was released, he could never forgive himself and he will be shunned by his family and friends. He said his time was up in this world and this was his decision. There was nothing further for me to say, so I stood up and shook his hand. I bid him farewell knowing that would be the last time I would be seeing him and wish him well.
A few days later after everything had been completed, I called the eldest daughter to drop by my office to collect the documents. At this point, I just want to say that never had anytime did she ever asked me about the cost or bill for the services and neither did I mention about the cost. So, I was at peace knowing that on the day when she comes to pick up the documents, that will be that and everyone will be happy. No need for anyone to be uneasy and that makes my life happier. On that appointed day, she came with her boyfriend and collected all of the documents. I went through with her one document after the other so that she was aware what the documents were. After everything was done, I wished them all the best and opened the door for them to leave. However, they just stood there and asked me that dreaded question, “How much for your services?”. Again, I was reminded of my experience in USC, so I said, “the disbursements (out of pocket expenses) is so much (can’t remember exactly how much now). Don’t worry, you can pay me anytime” and I quickly showed them to the door. The eldest daughter may be young but she was definitely not naive. She said, “That is your disbursements but what about your fee?”. I just stood there dumbfounded, didn’t know what to say. She opened up her bag and shove a stack of notes into my hand. I could see a few fifties and hundreds. The money looked like it came from their savings. I took enough for the disbursements and gave her back the rest, saying “Take care of your brothers and sister. I am sure your mother would want that”. I again quickly showed them to the door telling her, I will mail her the receipt and I have another appointment that I need to attend to. I closed the door before they could say anything. I thought that was the end of it but I was wrong!
Several months later, as a matter of fact, a week or so before Chinese New Year, our then maid who worked for my parents in the family home informed me that somebody had been calling the Klang residence asking for “Lawyer Tan”. When the maid asked who the person is, the person quickly replied, “That’s okay” and hanged up. The maid informed me that the person had been calling a number of times and it made me wonder whether this person was stalking me! At that time, I was living about 35km away from the family home. One day, I visited the family home and was pleasantly surprised to find a huge hamper filled with goodies with my name on it. My mum informed me that her facial therapist’s nephews and nieces came to the house with the hamper. Apparently, they were very grateful for what I have done for them and decided to show their appreciation by presenting the hamper in conjunction with Chinese New Year. I was very touched and humbled by their very kind gesture. This was one of the best memories I have as a lawyer and will always cherished it.
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