Health vs Wealth - A touching story about Empathy

In Mediation, we frequently talk about empathy. What is empathy? We normally describe empathy as putting ourselves in another person’s shoes. In other words, we try to identify the person’s feelings in order to have a better understanding of the person’s character and thoughts. Let me share with you a real touching story related by a friend not too long ago:-

This friend of mine whom I shall call Jack informed that many years ago his father was admitted to a private hospital for a serious ailment. His father’s condition deteriorated quite rapidly and by the third day, he fell into  coma. Jack’s father was wheeled into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and was kept alive by life support. Jack who was then in his mid 20s and being the eldest in the family was the sole breadwinner. The family didn’t have much money. Jack had to support his siblings who were still studying. Jack knew that the father’s prospect of recovery was grave. He asked the doctor how long more does the father have in this world. The doctor’s reply was rather shocking. The doctor replied, “As long as you can continue to pay the RM3,000.00 per day for the ICU and hospital charges”. Jack was in a dilemma. He called the government hospitals to see if they could accommodate his father. However, the government hospitals turned down his request as the prospect of Jack’s father recovering was very remote and it wouldn’t be fair to those patients who have good prospect of surviving and who needed the facilities.

Jack told me he didn’t know what to do. He sat down in the waiting room and cried. While closing his eyes, he heard a voice in him that said, “What would your father do in such circumstances?” In other words, put yourself in your father’s shoes. What do you think your father would do? Jack knew that his father was one of the most unselfish person he has ever known. Jack’s father would always put his family first and had often talked about providing a good future and career for his children. Jack said suddenly he did not feel guilty about the decision that he was going to make. That afternoon, Jack decided to take his father home. The whole family agreed and supported his decision.

The above story shows that if you put yourself in the shoes of the person and would really want to get a feel of the person’s reaction, you need to visualize that you are the person. Slowly feel the person’s senses and allow whatever thoughts come in feely. In Jack’s case, Jack became his father. Because Jack knew his father’s personality and habit, it was much easier for Jack to be in his father’s character. This is such a powerful technique that a German by the name of Dr Bert Hellinger used it to develop a very effective therapy called “Family Constellations”. For further information, please see (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Constellations). I have been to one of the “Family Constellations” and was very impressed with it. Seeing is indeed believing!