Stories on being "blindsided" and discovering a True Friend

A True Friend - Wee Keong and me (photo was taken in Sydney, 2014)

I am a fan of the US reality TV show called “Survivor”. One of the words which I often hear in that show is “blindsided”. Out of curiosity, I decided to look up the word “blindsided”. According to one of the interpretations, it means “to catch (someone) unprepared”. Oh boy! When I saw that, it brought back some memories of my childhood where I have been “blindsided” by my supposedly good friends. Let me share with you two of my “blindsided” stories:

Story: The Assistant Class Monitor

When I was in Form 1 (Year 7), I wanted to become an Assistant Class Monitor. I wasn’t interested to become a Class Monitor, I only wanted to become the Assistant. In case some of you do not know what a Class Monitor does, let me just say that the Class Monitor is like the Captain or the leader of the entire Class. Therefore the Assistant Class Monitor is just like the Vice Captain. The Class Monitor and the Assistant are usually voted in by the students in the class - a very democratic process. Being only 13 years old, I wasn’t shy to express my desire to become the Assistant Monitor and in fact, let all of my so called good friends know. Everyone that I met informed me that they would vote for me when it comes to the class election. One of my good friends went so far as to say that he would be nominating me and all of our other friends would raise their hands when it comes to the actual voting. Making a rough count of the number of votes that I should get, I have come to a conclusion that it will be an easy win for me.

When the time came for the election of the Class Monitor and the Assistant, I was pretty excited. The way the election was conducted was rather simple. A student would raise his hand, propose the name of the nominee followed by a seconder or two and once the nomination is closed, then the voting would start by a show of hands. There were a few nominees for the Class Monitor position and if I recall correctly, it was a rather close fight. When it came to calling for nominations for the Assistant Class Monitor, a first name was nominated then followed by a second nominee. I was looking around the class to see who would nominate me but no one raise his hand. I then looked at that supposedly good friend of mine who earlier informed me that he would be nominating me but alas, he didn’t even look at me as he was looking straight ahead as if ignoring me. Then someone proposed that the nomination be closed. I was rather disappointed. If I have lost the election, it would have been at least I tried but here, I wasn’t even nominated at all. All I could say is that I have been “blindsided” by my good friends. So, from an early age I learned that in politics, the only person you can trust is yourself as even your so called good friends can backstab and prove to be unreliable. Until today, I never got my answer as to why they didn’t nominate me at all. If they felt I wasn’t suitable to be the Assistant Class Monitor they could at least let me know rather than leading me on. Well, that is a “blindsided” lesson for me.

Story: Leaving for the US

At the age of 17, I left for the US to continue further studies. Before leaving for the US, my parents threw a farewell party for me in the family home. Many of my classmates showed up including those who “blindsided” me before. It was a rather fun and emotional night for me. Many of my friends gave short speeches, praising me and saying what a good person and classmate I have been and they would missed me when I leave for the US. Many of them even asked for my flight details as they would come out in droves to the airport to send me off on that day. Some of them were even saying that would be bringing placards and banners (I know, I know it sounds really far fetched but when you are 17 years old, you want to believe everything!).

On the day of my departure, my family and relatives were in the airport. While queuing up in the check-in counter, I was looking around trying to spot if any my friends were there but unfortunately none were spotted. As I was about to leave the check-in counter, I spotted my friend Tan Wee Keong (who is now a famous obstetrician & gynecologist in Malacca) standing there quietly waiting for me to complete the check-in procedure. I was deeply touched seeing Wee Keong standing there. Wee Keong has always been a brilliant student but rather reserve and quiet in class, so I didn’t expect to see him there in the airport. When I asked him how did he come to the airport? He simply replied he took a taxi from Klang to the airport which was quite a distance away. Apart from that, unknown to him that I know, it would also cost him a lot of money to travel in a taxi, especially for a young person. I was very touched with what Wee Keong did. He made every effort to wake up early, to look for a taxi to take him (him as being all alone) from Klang to the airport plus it cost so much to hire a taxi for a person who had just completed his secondary school education. My late aunt, Ah Mai was there and being a caring person  (which she had always been) immediately informed Wee Keong that  she would send him home to Klang and no need to keep the taxi waiting. What Wee Keong did was something that I would remember for the rest of my life. His sincerity, reliability and genuineness as a friend impressed me and received great admiration. I have shared this story with my wife and kids and often reminded them what a true friend is all about. You see, when it comes to choosing friends, I am no longer “blindsided”, my “blinders” are off and I can see clearly now. Thank God for that!

Meeting Sir Peter Mooney

Dato' Dr Sir Peter Mooney and me

Yesterday, I had the honour of meeting and having lunch with Dato’ Dr Sir Peter Mooney. My father and I were very keen on meeting Sir Peter, especially after reading his book, “A Servant of Sarawak: Reminiscences of a Crown Counsel in 1950s Borneo”, a fascinating book about Sir Peter’s journey and life in Borneo. I will share a little more about the book later. My good friend, Catherine Eu (former Executive Director of the Bar Council) put me in touch with Sir Peter and we set a date for lunch at the Chinese Restaurant located at the Royal Selangor Club in Kuala Lumpur.

Sir Peter Mooney autographing his book

Now, you may be curious to know who exactly is this person, Sir Peter Mooney? Dato’ Dr Sir Peter Mooney is an illustrious lawyer being the co-founder of Skrine, one of Malaysia’s leading law firms and had served as the Attorney General of Sarawak in the 1950s. Sir Peter Mooney hailed from Ireland but was educated largely in Scotland. Being a brilliant student, he literally sailed through his education on scholarships  based on merit. Sir Peter Mooney had his first taste of Far East when he fought in one of the toughest battle in World War II in Burma. Sir Peter Mooney fought with the British Fourteenth Army under the command of General Sir William Slim (who incidentally became the Governor-General of Australia in 1953). After the war, Sir Peter Mooney continued his education and subsequently was called to the Scottish Bar. Sir Peter Mooney practised law for a short while in Scotland until he was appointed as a Crown Counsel for Sarawak by the Secretary of State for the Colonies in the United Kingdom. Being a linguist, Sir Peter Mooney managed to pick up the local languages such as Malay, Iban and Mandarin rather quickly. Sir Peter Mooney was subsequently appointed as the Attorney General of Sarawak and had faced many legendary opponents (Defense Counsels) such as David Marshall and Lee Kuan Yew. Many of the notable names which we frequently come across in history books such as Sir Malcolm MacDonald and Sir Anthony Abell were people that Sir Peter had worked with and were colleagues of Sir Peter.

Sir Peter's book - a good read

I found Sir Peter Mooney’s book, “A Servant of Sarawak: Reminiscences of a Crown Counsel in 1950s Borneo” a rather good read. The author’s style of relating his experiences and the thorough and vivid description of how the lifestyle of the people in Borneo at that time gives you a feel of the 1950s in “wild Borneo”. The readers could actually feel and see the things that Sir Peter had gone through in those years (perhaps not the same experiences he had but you get an idea). The author shared some interesting cases which he handled and made it even more interesting by adding some anecdotes here and there. The book is written in a simple style and easy to understand. This book is highly recommended for those who wants to know about the colonial times.

Dato' Manan listening attentively to Sir Peter's experiences in Borneo

With Datuk Mahadev Shankar (former Court of Appeal Judge)

The lunch was marvelous. I ordered a number of dishes consisting mainly of vegetables as Sir Peter is more keen on vegetables compared to meat. Joining us for lunch was my dad, Dato’ Abdul Manan Othman (former Cabinet Minister), Catherine Eu (former Executive Director of Bar Council)  and Puan Hendon Mohamed (former President of the Malaysian Bar). I have also invited Lim Chee Wee (current President of the Malaysian Bar) but he sent his apologies. During lunch, we bumped into Datuk Mahadev Shankar (former Court of Appeal Judge), we shared some jokes and had a few laughs and he had to go on his way to another function.

Sir Peter Mooney with a copy of my book

I brought along a copy of Sir Peter’s book and requested for his autograph which he obliged. After that, I presented Sir Peter an autographed copy of “Mediation Skills and Techniques” and a few memorabilia. Sir Peter Mooney is a great man and I must say that it is indeed an honour and privilege to meet you, Sir Peter (if you are reading this post) and hope to catch up with you again!

Thank you and good-bye SKSH - "SKSH forever"

"SKSH forever"

The Proud Mums

Ashley with few of her good friends

The "cool boys" of SKSH

The words said it all

The Finale - "Sealed with a Kiss"

Saying goodbye...until we meet again!

Ashley embracing her good friend, Safia Razin

On 6th November 2012, Jennifer, Douglas and I attended Ashley’s farewell night at Sekolah Kebangsaan Seri Hartamas. It was a fun evening with good food and entertainment. The event was well attended by the Standard Six pupils (the event was for them as they will be leaving school soon), the Principal, teachers and parents. The Standard Six pupils put on a very good show with some individual singers, choir and dancing ala 1960s style. The theme of the night was “Retro Night”. Jennifer and I didn’t know what “Retro” was so we googled it and this is what it says, “old fashioned” style. Again, the definition was rather vague and we clicked “images” and then we got it! It means the bell bottom and colourful era. Initially, Jennifer wanted to wear “kebaya” but that may not fall into the category of “Retro” so we decided to wear something less formal.

The Standard Six pupils put on a splendid show. You could see that a lot of efforts were put into the performance. What amazed us were the camaraderie and the genuine friendship shown by the pupils to each other. If only the adults could behaved like that, the world would have been a peaceful one. For a short while there, even the parents were behaving like 12 years old - giggling, laughing and teasing each other.

The food was good with a lot of nice local flavour such as “satay ayam” (chicken satay), “soto ayam”, nasi tomato, fried fish fillet, “ice kacang” and “teh tarik”. The food was served ala “buffet style” and the lines were orderly.

The finale on that evening was an emotional and touching one. The Standard Six pupils were invited to the stage to deliver three (3) songs as a final tribute to the teachers, parents and friends. It started with “Ilhamku” (My inspiration), “To Sir with Love” and the last one was “Sealed with a Kiss”. I could observed from the songs that somehow the lyrics and the tune had an impact on the students’ emotions. “Ilhamku” was sang quite solemnly and then when it came to “To Sir with Love”, some of the students’ voices were already cracking and when the famous words “Though we gotta say goodbye for the summer.....” from “Sealed with the Kiss” was sung, tears were beginning to flow. What made it even more emotional was than when “Sealed with the Kiss” was sung, the students in an orderly manner moved and shook hands with each other. Some even embraced and let the tears flowed freely. Even some of the parents including Jennifer shed a few tears. After having spent six (6) wonderful years at Sekolah Kebangsaan Seri Hartamas, you can’t help but feel emotional. Jennifer, Ashley, Douglas and myself would like to say a big “thank you” to all the wonderful teachers and friends that we have met along the way. Whenever you are in Sydney, please look us up!

A story about "EXPECTATION" - keep well, Adam!

“EXPECTATION” - a big word which we normally use in training and sometimes in Mediation as well. Trainers and Mediators would asked the participants or parties, “What are your expectations for being here today?” This is a way of gauging the parties’ needs so that the Trainer or the Mediator can attempt to meet those needs. However, I am of the view that for the Trainer or Mediator to have a certain “expectation” of the participants or the parties may not be healthy. By having “expectations”, you are already forming a pre-conception of what is to take place. If the results are not up to the Mediator or the Trainer’s “expectations”, then the Mediator or the Trainer’s self-esteem and emotions will be affected. Let me share with you a story about “Expectation”.

Yesterday, I received a telephone call from Adam, an old friend of mine. Adam is a survivor of many life challenges. He survived a heart scare (went through angioplasty many years ago) and defeated cancer (he was in advanced stage and overcame that challenge). Once Adam went into remission with the cancer, he has completely changed his lifestyle. He exercises regularly, he watches his food intake and he is really a big fan of nutritions and supplements. Apart from that, Adam (like me previously) attends Zhi Neng Qi Gong (a form of Chinese energy exercise that increases your Qi (energy)) classes regularly. I must say that Adam look very well, better than I have seen for years.

Recently, Adam went on an extensive tour of China. He told me it was a very strenuous trip with a lot of walking and climbing. He enjoyed the trip thoroughly. When he came back,  he thought this would be a good time to go for a stress test since his health and stamina were at their peak. He made an appointment with the Medical Centre and went for the stress test. Adam “expected” the results to be flying colours in view of his stamina shown during his recent trip to China. When the results came back, the cardiologist informed Adam that he wasn’t too happy about the results and asked him to do an angiogram to explore further. Adam was disappointed but nevertheless, decided to do the angiogram in Sydney. Adam’s family has a long history of heart issues so Adam thought at worst, the heart issue can probably fixed by having another angioplasty. That was another “expectation” from Adam.

So, Adam left for Sydney and went to one of the best Heart Centres in Sydney. When he went for further medical tests and angiogram, the cardiologist had some even bigger news to tell Adam, something that Adam did not “expect”. The cardiologist informed Adam that he had five (5) blockages) and needed to do a by-pass. Adam agreed and has now recovered well and live to tell the story. All it took was just eight days stay in the hospital which included the two days stay for the angiogram and other medical tests.

One thing I learned from this story was that by having an “expectation”, Adam was already forming an idea in his head but fortunately for Adam, he is also a practical person, so he knew the reality of things. In case, some of you may be wondering whether it is worthwhile to take supplements, exercise, practicing Zhi Neng Qi Gong and eating right in view that all of this still happened to Adam in spite of him living such an healthy style? Well, let me state my theory on this. It is precisely this healthy life style that Adam adopted that prevented him from suffering the consequences of the blockages. It is also precisely this healthy style that helped Adam to recover so fast and so well. For all we know, Adam could already had this blockages years ago but because of his rigorous exercise and healthy lifestyle, he did not experience any symptoms and as a matter of fact gave him the extra boost and energy to do things that he wasn’t able to do before. So, let me say again, exercise, eat right, lead an healthy lifestyle and do not have too many “expectations” in life and you will live a long and meaningful life.

A nice home cooked meal - Thank you, Mr & Mrs Arul

A wonderful spread of home cooked meal!

Mr. Arul with my parents

Mr and Mrs Arul with my dad

Catching up on old times

Mrs Arul with my mum

Mr. Arul shared with us a useful paper cutting

This afternoon, my father’s former classmate and family friend, Mr. G Arulanathan and his lovely wife invited us over to their place for lunch. They heard that my family and I would be leaving for Sydney soon and therefore, wanted to give us a home cooked farewell lunch in their home. My children, Ashley and Douglas did not attend as they have exams tomorrow. My parents, Jennifer and me attended the wonderful lunch.

We had a home cooked meal of fish head curry (Mrs. Arul’s specialty), basmati rice (brought all the way from Australia as their son, Balan lives there), indian “yong tau foo”, mutton varuval, dried indian fish flake, drumstick dried curry, green “kampung” chicken curry and “pappadam”. We also had “murruku” and “fried dried bittergourd” on the side. As for dessert, we had fresh mangoes and coffee. It was a very hearty and nice meal. Thank you to Mr & Mrs Arul for that lovely lunch!

Mohd Zain Bin Ahmad - the Man instrumental in setting up the first Malaysian container terminal

(From left to right) - Mohd Zain Ahmad, Yahya Ghani (first General Manager of Johor Port)

 and the writer

Note: This article was written in 2012 by my father, David Tan as a tribute to his good friend, En Mohd  Zain Bin Ahmad. Sadly, En. Zain passed away on 4th April 2017.

These days, we have many container ports in Malaysia such as Pelabuhan Tanjung Pelepas, North Port, Penang Port and West Port. However, very few people realised that Port Klang was the first container port in South East Asia. As a matter of fact, Port Klang was at one time even ahead of Singapore, though Singapore did subsequently become the No. 1 port in the world.

This was all due to one man by the name of Haji Mohd Zain Bin Ahmad or affectionately known as Che Zain. Che Zain was one of the early Malayan graduates from the London School of Economics and had created history as the first Malaysian General Manager of Port Klang Authority (Lembaga Pelabuhan Klang). I could still vividly recall many years ago, Che Zain who was then my neighbour came to my house and told me that Tun Abdul Razak (later became the Prime Minister of Malaysia) who was then the Chairman of the Infrastructure Committee asked him to set up the first container terminal in Malaysia (later to be known as Klang Container Terminal (KCT) and subsequently changed to Northport (Malaysia)). Sitting with Tun Abdul Razak in the Committee was the then Minister of Finance, Tun Tan Siew Sin who was known to be very careful and thrifty when it came to spending taxpayers' money. I was told that initially, Tun Tan Siew Sin refused to approve the project as there were no commitments from major container shipping lines to use the proposed terminal in Port Klang, therefore this posed to be huge risk to the country. Those of us who are familiar with the shipping industry in the 1960s would know that the major player at that time was a container line consortium known as “Trio Group” which consisted of Overseas Container Line, NYK and another. Che Zain being a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Transport (by the way FCIT was earned by him and not given as an honorary title!) played a major role to convince the Committee on the importance of the proposed container terminal. Needless to say the Committee was convinced and decided to take that risk by approving the project. I was told that the project cost a sum of RM45 Million which was a lot of money back in 1967-68. For an approval to be given for such an amount would mean great expectation from the Government. Che Zain literally told me that he was placing his “head on the chopping block”. He knew that any failure or mistake on his part in carrying out this project would mean a major dent to his reputation. Anybody who knows Che Zain would know him as a selfless man of great integrity, honesty and willing to shoulder the heavy responsibility in carrying out the task. His no nonsense approach and his excellent knowledge in managing ports served him well in carrying out the project.

The first person appointed to head the container terminal was Mr. Chung Kek Choo. Prior to that appointment, Kek Choo was the Traffic Manager of Klang Port Authority (LPK). Kek Choo was later sent to the United States of America to study the operations of container ports. Sadly after acquiring the knowledge in operating container ports, Kek Choo left Malaysia for Singapore in 1969.

Kek Choo was hired by Mr. Howe Yoon Chong who was then the Chairman of Port of Singapore Authority (PSA) (later became Head of Singapore’s Civil Service and subsequently Singapore’s Minister of Defence). In those days, Singapore’s PSA was not allowed to employ non-Singaporeans to work in the port. Therefore to avoid this direct ruling, Kek Choo was brought in under the guise of “Special Assistant”. Subsequently, Kek Choo went on to become a consultant with the World Bank in Washington, D.C.

As you can see, Malaysia was a pioneer in setting up a container terminal in this region and all of this largely owed to my old and very dear friend, Che Zain. I could write a lot of things about Che Zain as he is truly a man that is admired by many. Even though, Che Zain has served the country well but unfortunately being a quiet and private man, he was never given any due recognition by the country he loves so much. A lot of things stated in this article could be verified by one of LPK’s illustrious former employee, Dato’ Abdul Manan Othman (later became a Cabinet Minister under Tun Hussein Onn’s administration) during Che Zain’s tenure as the General Manager. There were many illustrious personalities that had served under Che Zain such as Datuk Harun Din, En. Hashir Abdullah and Datuk M. Rajasingam.

So, where is En Zain today? En Zain who is now in his 80s is living a quiet life in Subang Jaya.

The Launching of “Mediation Skills and Techniques”

The book launch held on 14^th May 2012 was a great success. We had about a hundred people who attended the launch. Mediation Skills and Techniques became a best seller on that day. The books were completely sold out. A number of guests were disappointed that they were not able to purchase the book on the day of the launch. However, the publisher Thomson Reuters / Sweet & Maxwell Asia managed to remedy the situation by handing out order forms and promising quick delivery as soon as the books are in stock. For my part, if you have received the book, please contact me at Seumas@MediationSkills.org and I will be more than happy to autograph it for you.

Speaking about autographing, the books were supposed to go on sale after the official launch, however, something amusing happened along the way that got the books to go on sale before the official launch took place. Immediately after the workshop, I was approached by Mahendran from Thomson Reuters’ marketing department to sign two copies of the book. One copy was to be given to Lim Chee Wee (President of the Malaysian Bar) while the other was to be given to Datuk Kuthubul Zaman Bukhari (Chairman of the Malaysian Mediation Centre /Chairman of the Asian Mediation Association) as token of appreciation for launching the book. As I was signing the two copies, I did not realize there was already a queue forming in front of me waiting to purchase the book. I was truly humbled by that experience to see so many of you supporting my writing career. Mahendran asked me whether he could go ahead to sell the book in view that Mediation Skills and Techniques has not been formally launched yet. Well, for logistic reason, I asked Mahendran to go ahead with the sale as there was already a line forming. I was most delighted to meet so many of you and it has been an honour and privilege to sign so many books on that day. By the time Mediation Skills and Techniques was officially launched, the books have already gone out of stock. According to the Publisher, this was one of the rarest moments as far as they can remember or perhaps the first time ever that the books were completely sold out at a launch! 

The programme for the book launch started right on the dot (the Malaysian time concept certainly did not apply here!). Rachel Tan being the ever gracious person accepted my invitation to be the MC for the book launch. She did a splendid job! The programme started with a short speech from Prakash Nagarajan who is the Business Development Manager, Thomson Reuters / Sweet & Maxwell, South East Asia who represented the Managing Director who was away at that time. 

Immediately after Prakash’s speech was my turn to speak. In my speech, I shared with the guests on what inspired me to write and how I believe in writing books which are easy to read and understand, simple and yet practical. I informed the guests that I do not believe in writing voluminous books and if anyone can even remember half of what they have read, that would have been fantastic. It was precisely for that very reason, I put in a lot of stories and illustrations in the book. It is my hope that the readers are able to relate to those stories and easily recall the techniques and skills when the need arises. It is easier to remember the story rather than the theory. At the end, I thanked all those people who have supported me and gave me unconditional love all these years – just to name a few, my beautiful wife Jennifer, my kids Ashley and Douglas and my parents.

Immediately after my speech came Lim Chee Wee’s speech. Chee Wee, the ever humble fella who had sportingly allowed me to pick on him during my speech started by saying “In consistent with my height, my speech is going to be SHORT!!!” Chee Wee gave a very touching speech saying that the Malaysian Bar will miss me when I move to Sydney at the end of the year. Chee Wee paid a small tribute to me by saying that when I leave Malaysia, I will be leaving a small legacy behind knowing that the book will leave a mark in Malaysia. Chee Wee urged me to consider to remain as a lawyer in Malaysia and also a lawyer in Sydney, thus becoming an international lawyer (hmmm…..sounds tempting but I am not sure whether the Legal Profession Act 1976 would allow it. I need to check on that).

The next speech came from Datuk Kuthubul Zaman who said that when he first met me, he was amazed that I could hypnotized people, however, at that time he wasn’t sure whether I would make a good Mediator. Datuk Zaman related some old and amusing stories and finally concluded that I have met all of the criterias (I am not sure what the criterias are now) that made me an excellent Mediator! Well, thank you for your kind words, Datuk. It looks like I got some big shoes to fill!

Then the highlight of the launch was the signing of the mock book cover by Lim Chee Wee and Datuk Kuthubul Zaman. It was a wonderful day for me. Many friends attended the launch. Some of them were my former school mates like Yip Chee Seng and my good buddies, Choong Tuck Meng and wife, Daniel Boon, Leong Meng Leong, Syed Annuar, Sharifah, Francis Chong, Mark Ong and Suresh Kumar. His Excellency, the High Commissioner of Singapore, Mr Ong Keng Yong and the Counsellor Mike Kuek were there as well. My fellow Mediators, Gunavathi, Nacha, Tejinder, Wong Lu Peen, Sivanesan and Sumathi were there to lend support as well. I have also invited the High Commissioner of Australia who unfortunately was unable to attend as he had a prior engagement. In view of my ties with Australia, it would have been nice if the Australian High Commission send a representative to the launch instead. Oh, well.....things happen for a reason.  

I would like to mention a special thank you to my good friend Yuen Wing Soon whom I regard as one of the top photographers in Malaysia for taking all the wonderful pictures. Yuen normally takes photographs of catwalk models. I guess by taking photos of me, it would be a great challenge for him, especially the touching up of the photos! As my wife said, even though the launch has been over for more than a week, my tail is still wagging!

My visit to Ipoh for Pre-Mediation Conference

The venue for the Pre-Mediation Conference

Recently, I was appointed to handle a “Court referred” mediation in Ipoh. “Court referred” mediation means that the matter is kept in abeyance in Court while the parties sought private mediation to meet their needs. I have not been to Ipoh for many years and was pretty excited to go there to attend the Pre-Mediation Conference.

Pre-Mediation conference is where the Mediator will explain to the parties what is Mediation, the Mediation process, the objective of Mediation, confidentiality and basically to answer any questions the parties may have. Pre-Mediation is not compulsory but it certainly helps if the parties have not been to a Mediation before. In this particular Mediation, we have quite a number of parties involved. Many of them have not been to a Mediation before, therefore we have to use the Perak Bar as its venue to accommodate everyone.

I was the only passenger in the entire ETS coach!

The first step in getting to Ipoh is to determine the mode of transport. Driving would be too tiring and flying is not an option as there are no longer flights available from KL to Ipoh. Therefore, this only leaves me with one choice and that is by rail. I decided to try the Electric Transit Services (ETS). The time duration for the trip from KL to Ipoh and vice versa ranges from 2 hours to 2 1/2 hours. It depends on whether the train is an express train (meaning there  are no stops and takes 2 hours), limited stops (ie: 7 stops and  takes 2 hours and 15 minutes) or the normal ETS (which means 13 stops and  takes 2 1/2 hours). Due to my schedule, I took the ETS with limited stops to Ipoh and the normal ETS from Ipoh to KL.

The Pre-Mediation Conference was scheduled  in the afternoon. I had plenty of time, so I  decided to take the 10.45am ETS from KL Sentral. My wife, Jennifer dropped me at the station with enough time for a “teh tarik” and some cookies which I brought from home. When it was time to board the train, there were a number of charming stewardesses guiding us but  somehow I found myself in the wrong coach. Nevertheless, I just sat in that coach since it was empty. When the train was moving, the stewardess came to collect my ticket and informed me that I was sitting in the wrong coach. When I was going to remove my things, she just smiled and said, “It is going to be quite a long walk. Why don’t you just sit here and be comfortable?” I smiled and thanked her. Since the coach was empty, I had all the seats to myself. During the entire journey, I was surfing the internet with my IPAD 3G while listening to my MP3. I made a few phone calls to my friends Kenny Lai (lawyer and mediator) and Leong Cheok Keng (lawyer) who are practicing in Ipoh, to see if they are available for lunch. Both of them had prior appointments, so lunch will be very much on my own.

My lunch at the Old Town White Coffee in Ipoh

For lunch, Kenny Lai recommended me Miner’s Arm which unfortunately was closed, so I proceed to the Old Town White Coffee. I had the kway teow soup and their famous white coffee. I must say the kway teow was really smooth and soft. It virtually melted in my mouth. The service was excellent and the waiter who was not much older than me called me “Uncle” which I thought was quite amusing.

After lunch, I went to the Perak Bar for the Pre-Mediation Conference. During the Pre-Mediation Conference, I applied the “mirroring” technique to make the parties comfortable.  I was matching and synchronising my movements with the parties. The Pre-Mediation Conference lasted about an hour. 

With my old buddy, Edwin Gomez

After the Pre-Mediation Conference, I had about 2 hours of layover time before my ETS to KL. I decided to call up an old friend, Edwin Gomez whom I have not seen for years. Edwin Gomez used to work as the General Manager in one of the leading banks in KL. Today, he is retired and living in Ipoh. He dedicated a lot of his time in doing charity work. He helps out in the soup kitchen for the poor and homeless three times a week. Way to go, Edwin! Edwin came and picked me up for some hot thosai, "koli varuval" (dried chicken curry) and a round of “teh tarik”. Before I left I took a photo of Edwin and myself for we do not know when we will see each other again.

On my way back to KL on the ETS, it was raining heavily. This time, I got into the right coach. The coach was packed with every seat taken except the one next to mine. It was a relief but a bit awkward. As a Mediator, I am used to people approaching me and talking to me but when that did not happen, I felt strange but a good feeling nevertheless!