Dreaming big by achieving small

Previously, I have written an article called “Setting goals and achieving them” where we talked about breaking your goal into smaller parts so that it can be achievable. For example, let’s say that I have joined a company as a Management Trainee and my goal is to be the CEO of the company, I will plan my route to the top of the corporate ladder by placing milestones. To become a CEO, my first aim is to be a Manager of the company, after that I will aim to be a Senior Manager, followed by Group Manager and then COO and ultimately CEO. By achieving each milestone, I will celebrate with satisfaction that I have achieved a goal and my ultimate dream of being a CEO is one step closer. So, whenever a person says that he needs to plan his career path or to climb the corporate ladder, I will say that this is probably one of the methods the person will choose. If we don’t set milestones then it would appear that our goal (in this case, to be the CEO) is very faraway and it gives the impression that it is not within our reach. Therefore, it is important to celebrate every achievement no matter how small it is. It gives us the satisfaction as well as gratitude for coming this far. Let me share with you a story about climbing the career ladder, the unexpected and gratitude.

My father’s friend is a former lawyer, public servant, politician, Member of Parliament and a Cabinet Minister. I remember asking my father whether his friend had ever in his lifetime career thought that he would be a Cabinet Minister one day. My father said, “No. His goal was to be a Senator”. What this man has achieved went beyond his wildest dreams. His aim was to become a mere Senator and what he has achieved was a huge bonus to him.  He has never imagined that one day he would become a full Cabinet Minister. It took him some time to realise that this wasn’t a dream, he was living in it! He served with distinction for his country until he had some differences with the country’s top leadership which resulted his resignation from the Government. The positions he attained were unexpected and were extra “feathers in his cap”. When he resigned from the Government, many of his close friends felt sorry for him but he did not let that bother him at all. He was in his old jovial self as he has achieved what he wanted to achieve and more. He is grateful for being more than a Senator. To him, the rest were unexpected and bonuses. So, when he left the Government he had no regrets but only gratitude and satisfaction. You see, when you set your goals, make sure it is realistic and achievable with some efforts. Setting a high goal which is not within one’s reach is a dream and yes, dream may come true with efforts and lots and lots of luck. The question is are we going to strive and strive until we achieve that dream or are we going to set achievable goals leading to that dream? Only you can decide for what is best for yourself. I know what I will do, how about you?

Food, shelter, clothing - basic needs or luxury items?

When I was in school many years ago, the teachers taught us the 3 basic needs - food, shelter and clothing. At that time, poverty, hunger and homelessness were common features in many developing countries. My generation and the previous generations did not take these basic needs lightly. As fortunate as some of us might be at that time, we  were cautious that we could be deprived of these 3 basic needs at anytime. We were then living in an uncertain environment and unpredictable era. In today’s generation, the young ones are taught the same 3 basic needs (ie: food, shelter and clothing) but they treat the needs in a different manner compared to my generation. When “food” is mentioned as basic need, the new generation will ask “what kind of food are we talking about? Japanese food, Korean, Chinese, Italian or French cuisine?” When “clothing” is raised as a basic need, the new generation will ask “what brand of clothing are we referring to? Giorgio Armani, Versace or Donna Karan?” Finally, when “shelter” is put forth as a basic need, the new generation will query about the type of “shelter”, whether it is a bungalow, semi-detached, town house, condominium or an apartment? To my generation, the 3 basic needs mean survivability or the ability to remain alive but for the new generation, the 3 basic needs mean gourmet food, fine dining, luxury brand, high fashion and comfortable lifestyle. Nowadays,”food”, “shelter” and “clothing” are still needed in our life but more for materialistic and ego needs rather than for survivability. Why? Well, I feel one of the main reason is that as the world progresses, we tend to take many things in life for granted. Hunger, homelessness and poverty are no longer as grave as before in many parts of the world, therefore we become complacent and take things for granted. Instead of appreciating these 3 very basic needs as what they are, we try to differentiate ourselves from other people by escalating our lifestyle to a luxurious and comfortable level by enhancing these 3 basic needs to a brand and ego-feeding exercise. I must say that this is not something that is only happening to today’s generation but it happened to me many years ago with a friend of mine in Los Angeles.

This university mate of mine came from a very wealthy family. He drove an expensive car with all the works such as a body kit and expensive tyres. This friend also had a collection of branded and luxury watches. However, I noticed that whenever he go out for lunch or dinner, he would usually eat in cheap places and ordered the cheapest dishes around. Being a food lover, I could never understand his rationale. Here is a person who drives an expensive car, wears branded clothing and has a collection of luxury watches, yet he eats like a “pauper” (please mind my language there). One day I couldn’t hide my curiosity, so I asked him a point blank question - “Why do you eat in cheap places and order cheap food but you don’t mind spending on luxury items?” His answer was simple, “Food cannot last but luxury items can”. In other words, this friend of mine is materialistic and prefer luxury items rather than good food. There is nothing wrong with that, it is just an individual’s preference. However, it does demonstrate to me how a person perceived things. Therefore the debate of “luxury vs needs” continues..... 

Some techinques on buying yourself some time

Have you ever come across a situation where you need to delay or to “buy some time” so that you will be able to give an appropriate answer or come out with an action plan? I remember as a student at East Los Angeles College in Monterey Park, Joel Busch who was my Professor of Political Science at that time told us that one of the popular techniques used by politicians whenever they are face with tough questions would be to give a simple reply by replying “it depends”. Professor Busch said that such a reply would buy the politician some time to formulate a strategy or a better answer to counter the question. “It depends” is like an “open answer” that would “buy some time” for the politician. It would force the reporter to ask a follow up question which by then the politician would have hopefully come out with a strategy or a better answer. An effective technique to delay or to “buy some time”.

While on the topic of “buying time”, I am reminded of a story related by Anthony Watson who was my lecturer in International Relations at the University of Southern California in 1987. The story originated from a nomadic tribe known as Sufi. The story goes that once there was a man who was arrested for stealing precious items from the palace. The Ruler who was a ruthless leader immediately sentenced the thief to death. The thief wanted to buy himself some time to save his life so he offered to train the Ruler’s favourite horse to be able to talk in 10 years time if the Ruler is able to delay his death sentence until then. As ridiculously as the proposal may be, the Ruler felt he had nothing to lose so he decided to spare the thief’s life for 10 years. If the thief fails to teach the horse to talk, the thief will be put to death. Meanwhile the thief’s friends heard about his ridiculous proposal. They just shook their heads and said to him, “Are you mad? You know the horse will never be able to talk. You will die in 10 years time. Such madness!” The thief just replied, “10 years is a long time. By then, either the Ruler will die or I will die or......well, the horse will TALK!!!” The gist of the story is that the thief is buying himself some time for whatever reason or purpose. The reason could be because he is planning an escape from the Ruler's kingdom or he has some unfulfilled commitment or work that he needs to finish off or perhaps he just want to avoid the inevitable as long as he can.

Delaying tactics or buying ourselves some time is appropriate if we have a good reason for it. However, take caution, doing it often and on the same people would have negative effect. It will affect our credibility and people will no longer place trust on us as our words are becoming irresponsible. However, it will be useful especially when we find ourselves in a “tight situation” such as when we are “pressured” to buy something or to make a commitment. For example, a real estate agent pushing you to make an offer on a Property. The real estate agent could be “testing water” to see how much you are willing to pay for the Property. You, on the other hand, is interested in the Property but refused to be drag into the real estate agent’s web of “commitment to buy”. In such situation, you will need to “buy some time” to decide. By saying “no, I can’t decide” would show your weakness or being indecisive. By saying “yes”, you are committing yourself without being sure whether you are overpaying for it. So, what would be the appropriate way to handle this situation? I am sure there are many ways of handling this situation, but what I would do is just to request the real estate agent for more information, preferably information that the agent will not be able to provide you immediately. For example, an evaluation report of the Property, a copy of the Title Deed, what kind of financing can you get, etc. In other words, place the burden or the delay onto the agent as if as YOU are waiting for the agent to get back to you rather than you are the cause of the delay. This is a technique where politicians like to call it “answering a question with a question”. In other words, throwing the question back to the person who initially asked the question. This would allow you some time to think or formulate your next cause of action. If you can think of any other techniques to “buy some time”, feel free to share them in this blog under the “Comment” section below. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to buy me some time so that I can get some sleep!