A Love Story that touches one's heart

Recently, a friend from Hong Kong posted on her Facebook a story about how a guy was in love with a girl in high school but never had the guts to tell her. He helped her in school with her studies and even accompanied her to the high school prom when her date stood up on her. They were best of friends and were always looking out for each other. He was very attracted to her but dare not tell her about it as he feared being rejected by her. He was afraid that not only will she reject him, there was also a possibility that she would not want him to be her friend.

When they left high school, they continued their education in the university. Again, they were best of friends and were often helping each other out. After graduating from university, they parted ways but called on each other often when they needed help or just merely to catch up. All the while, the guy was so in love with the girl but could not bring himself to express his love to the girl for fear of being rejected. When the girl got married, the guy was heartbroken but nevertheless attended the wedding and put on a brave big smile. When the girl gave birth to her first child, she wanted the guy to be the son’s godfather which he  agreed.

As time went by, the girl fell sick and subsequently died. When the guy attended the funeral, they decided to read certain entries from her diary which were dated back to her high school days. The guy was shocked when he learned that in all these years, the girl too had strong feelings for him and was waiting for him to ask her to be his girlfriend and hopefully to be  his wife one day but unfortunately the guy never did. She wrote perhaps he was never interested in being more than a friend to her and she expressed how sad and disappointed she was but accepted that as fate. The guy was extremely heartbroken when he heard those entries being read. If only he took the risk and declared his love but alas that never happened.

The above story reminded me of a true love story involving a friend of mine that happened many years ago. In order to protect the person’s identity, let me call this person as John. I know John through my brother when John was still studying in high school (secondary school). John is the kind of guy that any parents would be proud to have as a son-in-law. John is a gentle, responsible, sincere and a  polite guy. When I was living in Los Angeles, I used to call him in Ohio where he was studying and I enjoyed the many hours of conversation with him. After I left LA, I lost touch with John and have not heard from him ever since. I did asked my brother about John and he too was curious of whatever came of him. A couple of years ago, my brother got news about John.

The story related to me about John was strikingly similar to the above story except no one dies here (thank God!). Like the earlier story, John was in love with a girl whom we shall call as Mary. John knew Mary ever since they were in high school. As luck had it, John and Mary went to the same university in Ohio. When living in a foreign country, John and Mary who were not proficient in English at that time supported each other while in Ohio. John was very much in love with Mary but had never expressed his feelings to Mary for fear of being rejected or worse being dumped as a friend by Mary. Subsequently Mary graduated from the university and returned to Malaysia while John stayed on to complete his postgraduate studies.

John and Mary continued to keep in touch but not as often as before due to hectic schedule and work from both sides. One day, a mutual friend contacted John in Ohio to inform him that Mary was getting married. John was heartbroken and immediately called Mary in Malaysia. It was only at this time that John confessed his love for Mary. When Mary heard John’s confession, she broke down and cried. Mary too, confessed that she was in love with John but she thought that John did not have  feelings for her as John had never expressed his feelings except for being a good friend. Mary told John that she had already accepted the wedding proposal from the boy and everything have been agreed and arranged by both families including the wedding reception. Mary told John that he has to move on and forget about her. Naturally, John was disappointed and never got over his untold love for Mary. After John completed his postgraduate studies, John returned to Malaysia and subsequently found solace in religion in the form of Buddhism. John became a monk. I wish to inform the readers that this is a true story, though it may have sounded like a romance novel but real lives were involved here. I suppose what we can take from this story is that if you really love someone, say it to the person and don’t wait for the right time because the right time is what you make of it and not one that drops on you.

Don't be lazy, say it in full! - Part III

This is the final installment relating to the above. This final story is rather an unfortunate story relating to miscommunication. Many years ago, some of you may remember a tragic accident where a passenger airplane crashed resulting everyone on board perished. When the black box was retrieved, the investigators found that the accident happened due to miscommunication between the Air Traffic Control and the pilot.

Apparently what happened was that when the Air Traffic Control was guiding the aircraft on its approach to the airport, they gave instructions to the pilot to descend the aircraft. The instruction given to the pilot was “to descend aircraft from 10,000 feet to 2 500 feet”. Do you see where the miscommunication here? The pilot heard the instruction as “to descend the flight to (2) 500 feet” whereas what the Air Traffic Control meant was to have the aircraft descend to 2,500 feet (two thousand five hundred feet). As you probably guess, by descending the flight to 500 feet, the aircraft crashed into a hill amidst in darkness. What happened here was that the Air Traffic Control used “short cut” language. Instead of saying “two thousand five hundred feet”, the Traffic Control said “two five hundred” where “two” was misinterpreted as “to”. From then onwards, all traffic controllers are now required to say the numbers in full and no short-cut. So, again, don’t be lazy, say it in full!

Don't be lazy, say it in full! - Part II

 

Here is my second real story relating to the above. Last week, I was looking for a locksmith to duplicate an additional key for my car. In case you are wondering, I am driving a Citroen C4 Picasso and this is one of those cars where it has a unique looking key that needs to be initialized before you can start the ignition. Like everything else in Sydney, the cost for duplicating the key is really high. I was faced with a dilemma. Not every key-maker can duplicate the key and even if they can, they are charging a bomb.

I finally found a key-maker who is a well established locksmith in Chatswood. When I asked the person whether he can duplicate the key, he took the key and ran through a few tests with the key using a machine. After that, he checked the catalogue and said he can do it but I need to bring in the car in as he needed the car for at least an hour or so. I asked him, how much would it cost? He said “One forty”. I then asked, “How about for two?”. He replied “Two eighty”.  It didn’t strike me then, but looking back, if I am a literal person, I would think one key is for forty dollars and for two, well, eighty dollars. Apparently, that would probably be what the person was saying according to a literal person.

To avoid this kind of confusion, what do you think the person should have said? Well, the person should have said it in full, “One hundred and forty dollars” rather than “One forty”. What created even more confusion was that for 2 keys, it will indeed be two hundred and eighty dollars or as the person said, “Two eighty”. If the key is for fifty dollars each, the literal person would know straightaway the actual amount as 2 keys will be one hundred dollars and there is no other way to say it except that. Therefore, like stated earlier, there should be no “short-cut” language, so “don’t be lazy, say it in full!”.

Don't be lazy, say it in full! - Part I

The title says it all. My apologies if I reminded you of your teacher in school but have you ever wonder why miscommunication happens or why our messages never got conveyed the way we want it to be conveyed? One of the major reason is because we tend to use “short-cut” language. For example, when we invite someone for lunch, some of us will use “short-cut” language by looking and simply saying to the person, “lunch?” or we could make a full sentence by saying, ‘Do you like to join me for lunch?”. If the person is a literal person, he will probably be scratching his head and thinking to himself whether you are expecting him to invite you for lunch or whether you are asking him whether there is lunch available in the premises or whether you want him to join you for lunch?

A former colleague of mine who is from the Netherlands informed me that when he first came to Malaysia, he was extremely puzzled with Malaysians. He said to me that Malaysians are curious and strange people. His Malaysian colleagues would often asked him “Have you taken your lunch?” or “Have you eaten?” but never once invited him to join them for lunch. He finds this rather puzzling as to why they want to know whether he had eaten lunch when they have no intention of inviting him at all. As we all know, Malaysians are friendly and polite people. When Malaysians asked a question of such nature, more often than not, we do not expect an answer. It is just out of sheer politeness. When I informed this to my Dutch friend, he just scratched his head and still couldn’t get it. He also came to understand this culturally thing after his first year living in Kuala Lumpur. So, in order not to confuse our foreign friends, “Don’t be lazy, speak in full sentence!”