Achieving your goal - one step at a time (The Everest example)

I am rather fortunate to live close to the shopping malls and the CBD. As a matter of fact, it would just take me about 8 minutes to get there. However, since the place where I am staying is rather hilly, it is quite a challenge to climb the rather steep slope. Each time when I looked up, I would feel aches in my legs and my breathing will become faster. In other words, I was already tired before I make that climb.

One day, it occurred to me that this is more psychological than physical. I was reminded of an interview with one of the mountaineers that climbed Mount Everest. When asked whether he felt tired and exhausted before reaching the top, he said, “Most definitely. However it is more of thinking how am I going to reach the top rather than the actual climb itself that made me exhausted”. So, what did the mountaineer do? He decided to take one step at a time. He focused his thoughts and concentration on every step he take without looking up.  He avoided looking at the peak. Because whenever he looked at the peak, he will start feeling tired and it looks like it is going to take him forever to reach the peak. So, with that philosophy in mind, I did just that. I looked at the path leading up to the top of the slope. I focused my thoughts on every step I take and avoided looking up. Suddenly it felt that the climb was easy and comfortable. I suppose this has got to do with how we live our life. We focus on what we have today and slowly make that climb towards our ultimate goal.

A story from "Earth Hour"

Yesterday (23rd March 2013), we had “black-out” from 8.30pm to 9.30pm in most parts of Sydney in conjunction with Earth Hour. I am sure you will be experiencing the same in whichever part of the world you are in. I remembered some years ago, when our daughter, Ashley was just seven years old, she came home from school all excited about Earth Hour. She insisted that we must have the one hour “black out” in our home in Kuala Lumpur. Her teacher told the class that this will save the environment and drive a strong environmental message to the world. I must say I was pretty naive at that time. I have not heard of Earth Hour as it was still new at that time (though, I have heard of the Earth Song by Michael Jackson!), so I asked Ashley what is Earth Hour? Ashley replied that Earth Hour means that we have to off all the lights for an hour to save electricity and the environment. I asked her where did she hear about it. She replied that she heard from her teacher and everyone in her class is going to do it.

After hearing our little girl, Jennifer and I decided that we should adhere to our little princess’ wish and we will have a total electricity cut off in our home from 8.30pm to 9.30pm on 23rd March 2008. We were all in one bedroom as our young kids slept with us. As soon as the clock struck 8.30pm, we switched off all the lights and we could see how excited our little girl was. However, as soon as I switched off the air-conditioner, I could hear groaning of displeasure and disappointment. Our daughter started to complain why on Earth did I switched off the air-conditioner, as it was really hot.  I told her that the air-conditioner consumed a lot of electricity and power, in fact more than all the lights that we have in our bedroom. Our little daughter said the teacher said we should switched off all the lights but the teacher did not mention about air-conditioners. Well, after our little girl stated her case and argument, we decided to come to a compromise (Mediation comes into play!). We have agreed that all the lights will be off but the air-conditioner will remain on - in other words, we will “suffer in comfort”.

What made this conversation with my daughter interesting is that young children tend to take information and instructions literally. One needs to be very careful when disseminating information or instructions. A young mind tends to absorb a lot of information and because their learning power is greater than an adult, they tend to take things in a literal sense. So when a person jokes in front of a child, just make sure that the child knows that it wasn’t meant to be serious and it was just made in good decent fun. Meanwhile, happy Earth Hour everybody

Learning to adapt (moving out from comfort zone)

In my previous post, I wrote about stepping out of the comfort zone and learning to adapt to new environment. In this post, I am going to share with you two contrasting true stories about how two different people adapting themselves to a new culture in a new country.

True story No. 1

I have a friend by the name of Julian who was sent by his company to work in Germany for three years. Julian is a person who is rather conservative and refuses to move out from his comfort zone. He would prefer to stick with people he knows rather than mixing with new ones. Therefore, it was no surprise that he brought a huge load of things from Malaysia when he moved to Germany to start his life there for the next three years. He wanted to have familiar things around him and he was not prepared to experience and try out something different.

Julian returned to Malaysia for three weeks (annual home leave) at the end of every year. In one of his trips back to Malaysia, I asked him whether he is enjoying himself in Germany? He replied rather negatively. He replied that he didn’t like the weather, the food tasted strange, people don’t speak English and they are rather cold and unfriendly. When I heard all of his whining, I began to have pity on him. I gave him some words of comfort by saying that before he knows it, he will be back in Malaysia for good in no time. Even though, I felt pity for Julian but I can’t help but to think this negativity was self inflicted and nothing to do with the country that he was living in.

True story No. 2

Some of you may have heard about one of Malaysian football legends by the name of Lim Teong Kim. Lim Teong Kim was the first Malaysian footballer to play in Europe for a German club called Hertha BSC Berlin. Lim Teong Kim later on returned to Malaysia and then went to back to Germany for good and eventually became the Assistant Coach with the Bayern Munich Under-19 Team. Lim Teong Kim learned the German language, ate German food and adapted himself very well to the German culture. In other words, he settled into the new environment very comfortably. Lim Teong Kim even married a German lady and has three children with her. In one of the interviews with the Malaysian newspaper, the reporter asked Lim Teong Kim whether he will return to Malaysia one day. In his answer, Lim Teong Kim seem to infer that he is rather comfortable in Germany and moving back to Malaysia may not be in the cards in the near future.

We can see from the two stories, there is a great contrast between how Julian and Lim Teong Kim adapted themselves in Germany. Let’s look at how Julian handled himself in Germany. He complained that he didn’t like the weather. Well, I guess, coming from a country like a Malaysia where the weather is warm and humid all year round, you can’t expect the same in Europe. Julian’s second complaint about how he didn’t like German food. Well, again, you do not expect to find “nasi lemak” or “char kway teow” readily available in a foreign country. Thirdly, people don’t speak English and are cold and unfriendly. Again, like the saying goes, “when you are in Rome, do what Romans do”. When a person is in Germany and the person wants to communicate then the person needs to learn German rather than having the Germans learn your language. If they can't communicate with you, the perception you get will be that they are cold and unfriendly. If you look at Lim Teong Kim, he didn’t have any complaint because he knew that in order for him to settle down, he needed to move out from his comfort zone and to adapt himself to the new environment rather than having the new environment adapting to him.

One of the ways to adapt yourself to a new environment is to have an open mind and not to have any expectation. The only boundary that one should take note is that as long as the new environment does not go against your belief or principle, then you should adapt yourself into the new environment and let nature takes its course.

Moving away from your "comfort zone"

Whenever someone moves to a new country, the person tends to bring a lot of things from the home country. The main reason is to have a sense of familiarity and to avoid being homesick. Some people would bring their favourite food (subject to Customs and Quarantine's clearance), their favourite pillow, their favourite ornament(s) and of course, photos to remind them of their former home. The question is does it help to have familiar things around you when you are suppose to settle in by adjusting to your new life in a new country?

There are two school of thoughts on this issue. One says that it is good to have things that you are comfortable and familiar with to be around you. In other words, it will be easier for you to settle into the new country as you will not miss your former homeland too much. The second school of thought says it is not a good idea. By having familiar things around you, you will be put into your comfort zone. Once you are too comfortable, you will find it challenging to move out of that zone. If you don’t move out from that zone, you can’t move on with you life. In other words, you are not able to adapt yourself to the new country and to the new culture. You will always tend to stick with people from your home country and miss out on a lot of important things around you that you are too blinded to see.

If you are put under the circumstances of moving to a new country, which school of thought would you say that you fall under? As for me, when moving to Sydney, I brought only the essential things such as books that I will need, pots and pans, a piano and things which I need but can’t find or just too expensive in Sydney. As for food, I brought only enough to satisfy my taste bud in the event that I miss the spicy stuff. You see, before I left Malaysia, I was more inclined to follow the first school of thought. When I arrived in Australia, I began to realise that I will not be able to settle in if I hold on to my comfort zone and not move out of it. For who knows, I might actually like what is outside of my comfort zone. I also realised that I will not be able to fit into the society here in Sydney if I hold on to what I am comfortable with back in Malaysia. So, the key here is learning to adapt and keep an open mind. The second key is to observe your surrounding. Observe by watching and listening to the local people around you. Your visual and auditory skills are important here. This is to place you into their system of doing things -ie: what is acceptable and how to get things done effectively in this new environment. Once you get into the system in which the society functions in your new environment, you will find your comfort zone start expanding and that is a good thing. I am still learning and will share new things along the way with you. Until then........

I am back with some stories to share!

Hello everyone! I am back. I do apologise for the two months absence as I have been rather busy moving and settling down in Sydney. We arrived in Sydney on 16th January 2013 and fortunately for us, our things in the forty foot (40 ft) container were ready for delivery to our doorstep a few days after that. With all the unpacking, organising and getting our affairs in order and before you know it, two months have passed since I last posted. This time our stay in Sydney will be different from our previous stay (note that I use “stay” rather than “visit”) because this time it will be permanent or long term. It is no longer a “visit”. Even though we will be visiting KL in April for two weeks but our base or home is now in Sydney.

Moving to a new country is a real experience for me. As my friend, Catherine Eu said to me before I left Malaysia, “When you arrived in Sydney, you may find things will be different and you may find the house rather empty BUT once your things from Malaysia have arrived and surrounded with familiar things, your house will become a home”. I must say, Catherine’s words have a lot of truth in them. Before our things arrived, the house did indeed feel “empty” and “cold”. However, when the things from Malaysia arrived, my family and I got really excited. A sudden rush of warmth, happiness and excitement filled the house. For example, when we saw our family piano from  KL was pushed through the door, we just couldn’t believe our eyes that our piano has travelled thousand of miles and a sense of familiarity returned to us. For me, it was my office high back mesh chair, the white board and the table which I have used every single day in the KL office that brought me familiarity. Besides that, I had my pigeon hole shelf with stickers such as “Praecipe”, “Borang 14 A”, “CKHT” (these are forms from the Court and land office) still sticking on it that gave me the feeling as if I was back in my office in KL. Now I understand how a child feels whenever the child carries that familiar worn out doll with him or her wherever the child goes. It is the sense of security and familiarity that make a person comfortable. It is true that a person wants to be in his or her comfort zone all the time. However, there are disadvantages as well which I will talk about in my next post.