Well, it is the holiday season and one of my past
times is watching those holiday romantic movies on the Hallmark Channel. Most
of the movies are related to the Christmas holidays and they all have a common
theme – finding romance in their life. One particular movie stood out for me,
it’s called “Just in time for Christmas”. It stood out because it shows how
omission and making assumptions changed the future of these 2 lovebirds’ life.
The storyline is basically about a female professor
teaching in a small town college who has the ambition to become a famous writer
and professor in an Ivy League school while the boyfriend is a simple guy that
owns a coffee shop in that small town. Well, these two lovebirds were High
School sweethearts. On Christmas Eve, the boyfriend felt that it was time for
him to propose to his longtime but ambitious girlfriend. He had everything
planned to a “T” with a dinner in an expensive restaurant (which is a big deal
for a small time coffee shop owner). Right before the girlfriend reached the
restaurant, she received a call from Yale University informing her that she has
been accepted into one of the faculties and enquired when can she move up to
New Haven, Connecticut. She was in cloud 9 and by the time she reached the
restaurant and the boyfriend was in his bended knees and proposing to her, she
rejected his proposal. She left the restaurant with the boyfriend chasing after
her. She told him about the “good news” and the boyfriend appeared to be happy
for her. She said she needed to move to Connecticut and that became a big blow
to the boyfriend. Nevertheless, the boyfriend gave her the ring and asked her
to keep it. The girlfriend was in tears not because of regret but rather more
of feeling guilty.
Like all feel good Christmas movies, she met an “Angel”
in the form of William Shatner who brought her to the future. In the future,
she was shown that she became a famous best selling author plus a Professor at
Yale University. When she went to her ex boyfriend’s coffee shop, she was
surprised that the shop has expanded plus the ex boyfriend has opened another
two outlets in other parts of the country. She also came to find out that her
ex boyfriend is going to get married to a waitress who is working there.
Naturally, she became jealous and wanted to woo her ex boyfriend but her ex
boyfriend was loyal to the core to her now fiancée who is a waitress. However,
the fiancée could see that the ex girlfriend’s visit had affected him. The
fiancée told him to talk to the ex-girlfriend and seek closure. The fiancée
wanted to be sure that it is she that
he will be looking at in the wedding altar and not the ex-girlfriend.
When the guy approached the ex-girlfriend, they began
to reminisce the relationship they
once had. The ex-girlfriend asked the one million dollar question, “Whatever
happened to us?” The guy replied that “You pursued your dream and you have
become very successful. I am truly happy for you because this is what you
wanted” The ex-girlfriend asked, “Why didn’t you come with me?” His answer was
a classic, “Because you didn’t ask”. The ex-girlfriend then asked, “Would you
have come with me if I asked?” He replied, “Of course, I would do anything for
us to be together but that is in the past as I have now a wonderful fiancée
whom I am going to get married to”. Without giving away the ending of this
romantic comedy movie, I will stop right here. The lesson to take away from
this story is that, sometimes in a relationship, you need to take the lead or initiative.
More importantly, do not make assumption or take things for granted. In this
new generation, it doesn’t matter whether it is a guy or a lady that takes the
lead, either one can do it, so long as they really care for each other.
In this particular movie (I know it is just a movie),
the ex-girlfriend was thinking of herself and her future. She made the
assumption that her boyfriend would not be interested in following her to
Connecticut as he is an owner of a coffee show and the boyfriend is probably much
more comfortable living in a small town. To her and probably a legitimate
excuse to justify her leaving is that it wouldn’t be fair to him while she
pursued her dream. On the other hand, her boyfriend felt that she didn’t care
enough in the relationship to invite him to join her in Connecticut plus the boyfriend
has what is called a “nice guy” syndrome. In other words, he was just too nice
not to fight for the relationship but instead he was willing to let her go and
pursue her dream. There wasn’t any exploration of options by the parties. Each
of them just made assumptions and hoping the other party would take the
initiative to save the relationshop. Some of you may recall an article which I
posted here 2 years ago about my friend who lost the love of her life to
another person because he was too shy to ask her to be a “girlfriend”. If you
have not, you can read it here http://mediationskills.blogspot.com.au/2013/06/a-love-story-that-touches-ones-heart.html.
Well, since this is the holiday season, I thought I would share with you my
thoughts on a holiday romantic movie. Happy holidays!
